The Apple of our i

We can also change a Zune into an iPod: Even though Apple’s upgraded iPhone 4S was given a better camera, a faster processor and other improvements, Apple geeks managed only a yawn when it was introduced Tuesday, mostly because it wasn’t the anticipated iPhone 5.

But if you can’t wait for the upgraded upgrade, come down to The Buzz Tech Emporium and Duct Tape Store and for a minimal charge of $99 our labelmaker will spit out a “5” to paste over the “4” on your phone.

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Card sharks: Along with the iPhone 4S, Apple also introduced a new app for iPhones that for $2.99 will allow users to design a greeting card and send it through the U.S. mail, saving you a trip to the greeting card store and the post office.

Along with birthday and get-well cards for your relatives, you also might send a sympathy card to the good folks at Hallmark and American Greetings.

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Not with a bang but a rip: Tuesday’s Nobel Prize for physics went to three U.S.-born astronomers who have discovered that the universe’s expansion is accelerating, suggesting that the “big bang” will eventually end in a “big rip” as galaxies, stars, planets and even atoms themselves fly apart into a cold oblivion.

That’s what the duct tape is for.

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