The best defense is offensive clothing

Oregon handily defeated Winthrop in the second round of the NCAA Tournament on Sunday , thanks to some good shooting, a strong defensive performance and nausea-inducing uniforms.

The team didn’t speculate on the role its fluorescent garb might have had in its victory, but we’re guessing even a team of arthritic 80-year-olds could block shots if their uniforms rendered the other players temporarily blind.

Here are a few other things the Oregon players could do with their garb:

  • Become traffic flaggers. For most of those players, the NBA probably won’t come knocking, but the transportation department just might.

  • Head to New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2008. Actually, they’d be underdressed.

  • Sell the uniforms to the Huskies. The neon yellow is hideous, but not quite as hideous as a surprise rejection from the NIT.

    Speaking of things that are nauseating, hundreds of people stood in line for up to an hour to taste sheep testicles at a festival in Nevada (

    We’re willing to wait much, much longer to try what one person called “just another tender meat.” In fact, we plan to wait forever.

    — Katie Mayer, Herald staff

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