The Buzz: As always, non-essential but still getting paid

A study says seniors most frequently share fake news. We’re counting on you to post this to Facebook.

By Jon Bauer

Herald staff

We realize most of you were hoping we were among those furloughed during the government shutdown. Along with being non-essential, we’re also not part of the government, at least not the part we’re allowed to talk about.

We are, however, allowed to talk about the week that wasn’t:

Abandon all hope ye who enter here: You know this is serious because it has its own name: Viadoom, the three-week period between the closing of Seattle’s Alaskan Way viaduct and the opening of new Highway 99 tunnel, during which some 90,000 vehicles will be pushed each day on to downtown surface streets to face gridlock and ad-packed KOMO radio traffic reports.

Those of us who don’t need to venture south of Lynnwood have our own name for it, however: Pull Up a Chair, Pass the Popcorn and Turn on the Traffic Cams.

People who live in White Houses shouldn’t throw dirt: President Trump, who has a history of attacking Jeff Bezos and the companies he owns, including Amazon and The Washington Post, appeared to facetiously wish Bezos luck after it was announced the billionaire and his wife announced plans to divorce. The divorce proceedings were “going to be a beauty,” Trump said.

“Interesting,” said Melania to her husband. “Do you know who his divorce attorney is?”

You should see their dancing video: President Trump — locked in a stalemate with Democratic Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Chuck Schumer over his demand for $5.7 billion for border wall funding, which has forced a partial government shutdown — blamed Democrats for not compromising: “I really believe the Democrats don’t care about crime,” he said. “They’ve been taken over by young people who — I really believe this — I think they’re crazy.”

“Well, we’re not crazy,” said Chuck and Nancy. “But we do try to stay active and vital, and we’re only as young as we feel.”

Speaking of those crazy kids: A study by researchers at New York University found that those 65 and older and ultra-conservatives were the most likely to share items on Facebook that were masquerading as news. Seniors shared more than twice as many fake stories as those between 45 and 64 and more than three times as those between 30 and 44, the study reported.

Nana, I know your friends share fake news, but if your friends took their mobility scooters out on I-5 would you do that, too?

On the plus side, you don’t have to wear a life vest walking a dog: Employees and those serving in the U.S. Coast Guard — who unlike other military branches are not receiving pay but are still expected to report for duty — have been advised by officials to make due by holding garage sales, babysitting, dog-walking or turning hobbies into paying gigs.

However, Coasties, we’d advise against trying to sell any of those unmarked bales that you’ve fished out of the water during patrols. The FBI is still getting paid.

Take a deep breath first: President Trump is now claiming, in spite of numerous statements to the contrary, that he never said Mexico would directly pay to fund construction of the border wall. “Obviously, I never said this, and I never meant they’re going to write out a check,” he said.

Trump supporters, you’re now expected to back your president on this. At rallies, when you chant “Build the wall!” and he asks, “Who’s going to pay for the wall?” you respond with a hearty: “Indirectly, Mexico, but only through increased corporate profits due to the revisions to NAFTA, and that’s assuming Congress approves the new trade deal. So, we’ll end up paying for it! Oh, and MAGA!”

Email Jon Bauer at jbauer@heraldnet.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Saturday, Feb. 8

A sketechy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

bar graph, pie chart and diagrams isolated on white, 3d illustration
Editorial: Don’t let state’s budget numbers intimidate you

With budget discussions starting soon, a new website explains the basics of state’s budget crisis.

Comment: Democracy depends on support of local journalism

A state bill provides funding to support local news outlets through a modest tax on tech businesses.

Comment: Love is intoxicating; romance doesn’t have to be

Navigating sobriety while dating, with Valentine’s Day coming up, is possible and fulfilling.

Comment: State attempt at single-payer health care bound to fail

Other states have tried, but balked when confronted with the immense cost to state taxpayers.

Forum: Requiem for a lost heavyweight: Sports Illustrated

SI, with Time and NatGeo, were a holy trinity for me and my dad. Now, it’s a world of AI clickbait.

Forum: Political leaders should leave trash talk to ballplayers

Verbal intimidation is one thing on the basketball court; it shouldn’t have a place in our politics.

The Buzz: Why, no, we have complete trust in Elon Musk

But whatever he and Trump are doing to the country, could they please wish it into the cornfield?

Curtains act as doors for a handful of classrooms at Glenwood Elementary on Monday, Sept. 9, 2024 in Lake Stevens, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Editorial: Schools’ building needs point to election reform

Construction funding requests in Arlington and Lake Stevens show need for a change to bond elections.

FILE- In this Nov. 14, 2017, file photo Jaìme Ceja operates a forklift while loading boxes of Red Delicious apples on to a trailer during his shift in an orchard in Tieton, Wash. Cherry and apple growers in Washington state are worried their exports to China will be hurt by a trade war that escalated on Monday when that country raised import duties on a $3 billion list of products. (Shawn Gust/Yakima Herald-Republic via AP, File)
Editorial: Trade war would harm state’s consumers, jobs

Trump’s threat of tariffs to win non-trade concessions complicates talks, says a state trade advocate.

A press operator grabs a Herald newspaper to check over as the papers roll off the press in March 2022 in Everett. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald file photo)
Editorial: Push back news desert with journalism support

A bill in the state Senate would tax big tech to support a hiring fund for local news outlets.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Friday, Feb. 7

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.