By Jon Bauer
Once again ignored by the Pulitzer committee for excellence in wisecracks and snide comments, and too old and white to record a rap album — Congrats, Kendrick, but where’s Macklemore’s Pulitzer — The Buzz returns to the grindstone:
Would you like to try our Flat White? Starbucks met with protests and criticism after two black men were arrested in a Starbucks in Philadelphia while they waited for the arrival of a friend who they had planned to meet there. Both were told to leave when one asked to use the restroom, then arrested when they refused. Following the uproar, Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson asked to meet with both men to apologize.
“Just meet me at the Starbucks,” Johnson said. “And don’t worry if I’m a little late.”
“Hey, do we have any of those ‘Race Together’ cups left?” In the wake of the Philadelphia incident, Starbucks announced that it would close 8,000 of its 13,000 U.S. stores for a day next month for employee training on “unconscious bias.”
At its other 5,000 stores, Starbucks will tell those employees: “Just don’t be stupid.”
Put a dollar in my pocket: Sean Hannity was revealed as a client of President Trump’s personal attorney, Michael Cohen, following an FBI raid of Cohen’s office related to the Stormy Daniel’s hush payment. The Fox News host explained he had only had “brief discussions” about business matters with Cohen, but “I might have handed him 10 bucks [and said,] ‘I definitely want your attorney-client privilege on this,’ ” Hannity told listeners Monday. “Something like that.”
Ten bucks? You can tell Cohen’s one of those high-priced lawyers. “Breaking Bad” and “Better Call Saul” lawyer Saul Goodman would have only charged him a dollar.
Give the man his $10, Donald: Rudy Giuliani, former New York mayor and federal prosecutor and ally of President Trump, has joined the president’s legal team dealing with the investigation by special counsel Robert Mueller. Giuliani said he hoped to “negotiate an end” to Mueller’s probe.
Giuliani’s a tough negotiator. In exchange for the investigation’s end, expect him to try persuading Mueller with “c’mon, be a pal,” but resort to “pretty please with a cherry on top” only if absolutely necessary.
Mitch, please keep it down; the baby is sleeping: The U.S. Senate, font of tradition, has amended its rules against children on the Senate floor, to allow Sen. Tammy Duckworth to bring her infant daughter, born April 9, with her when the Senate is in session.
Little Maile Pearl Bowlsbey shouldn’t be much of a distraction to senators; they’re already accustomed to the gurgling sounds made by the 25 senators who are between the ages of 70 and 83.
Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do? Researchers at the University of Michigan report that teens and college-age adults are drinking alcohol less frequently than young people a decade ago, but at the same time there’s been a steady rise in alcohol use and binge drinking among baby boomers.
We make drinking, smoking, red meat and Facebook uncool, and what thanks do these kids show us for protecting their health and sanity?
Don’t know much about history: On May 17, 1521, Martin Luther went before the Diet of Worms to face charges stemming from his religious writings. He was later declared an outlaw by Holy Roman Emperor Charles V.
Although Luther is best known for beginning the Protestant Reformation, his “30-Day Diet of Worms” was seen as a pioneering work in promoting the benefits of a low-carb paleo diet.
And on May 20, 1977, the U.S. Supreme Court, in Wooley v. Maynard, ruled 6-3 that vehicle owners could refuse to display state mottoes on license plates, such as New Hampshire’s “Live Free or Die.”
The ruling is used most often, however, to blot out the words “Famous Potatoes” on Idaho license plates.
Jon Bauer: jbauer@heraldnet.com
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