By Jon Bauer
Herald staff
Any other week, the proclamation by a presidential lawyer that, “Truth isn’t truth,” would have been milked for a good week by the cable news stations. Then came Tuesday, and the rest of the week that wasn’t:
Your Philosophy 101 teacher, Professor Giuliani: Trump attorney Rudy Giuliani on Monday explained that his “truth isn’t truth” claim the day before referred to the situation where two people make contradictory statements, such as “the classic ‘he said, she said’ puzzle.”
Or when one Trump lawyer says contradictory things, such as the classic ‘Rudy said, Rudy said’ puzzle.
Do you have this in orange: Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort was found guilty of eight of 18 financial crimes, including filing false tax returns and bank fraud.
Remarkably, the jury deadlocked on several fashion crime charges, including possession of a $15,000 ostrich leather bomber jacket with white piping.
Are there listings for “fixer”? Former Trump attorney Michael Cohen pleaded guilty to campaign-finance violations and other charges, claiming that Trump, then a candidate, directed him to arrange payments of hush money to two women who alleged affairs with Trump, admissions that appeared to implicate the president in potentially criminal acts. Trump responded by tweet: “If you need a lawyer, don’t hire Michael Cohen.”
We’re good, thanks, Mr. President. When we need a lawyer, rather than take your advice, we’ll check Yelp.
Continental breakfast included: U.S. Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-California, suggested in an interview that his wife, as his campaign manager, was responsible for using some $250,000 in campaign funds allegedly used illegally for personal expenses, such as trips, clothing and dental work. “So whatever she did, that will be looked at too, I’m sure,” Hunter said.
Hunter then asked if the next few nights at the San Diego Comfort Inn would qualify as a legitimate campaign expense.
Slight up-charge for bedtime stories: United Airlines announced it is experimenting with lie-flat seats on its Boeing 737 Max 10 jets on longer cross-country domestic flights for business travelers willing to pay a premium to stretch out.
Along with additional comfort, United said that when starting from a prone position it will be easier to drag customers off the plane.
Come to where the flavor is: The smoke and haze from wildfires that choked the Northwest for two weeks caused a spike in the Air Quality Index, which reached a level of 220 points, considered “very unhealthy,” a level compared to smoking seven cigarettes a day.
When the smoke cleared later that week, Big Tobacco invited nonsmokers who missed the full flavor and pleasure of inhaling smoke deep into their lungs to enjoy a pack of Marlboros, Winstons or any of its other fine products.
Born free, as free as the wind blows: Nabisco announced that in response to a campaign by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals it would redesign its package for Barnum’s Animals crackers to show the animals roaming the savanna rather than cooped up in a circus cage as the cookie boxes have shown for more than a century.
“Thank goodness that PETA has helped free Mr. Cartoon Lion from his cage,” said Maria, one of more than 500 migrant children still separated from their parents and detained in cages by the Trump administration.
Jon Bauer: jbauer@heraldnet.com.
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