The Buzz: With State of Union put off, at least we have Rudy

We’re totalling naming our emotional support coyote, Super Blood Wolf Moon.

By Jon Bauer

Herald staff

This shutdown is hitting hard. Not only are 800,000 government employees out of work, but President Trump’s State of the Union address has been postponed. That would have been good for at least three or four Buzz items next week.

As for this week that wasn’t:

“Hello, D.C. Best Western?” Following an earlier exchange of messages, during which President Trump announced he would show up Tuesday night at the Capitol to deliver the State of the Union before a joint session of Congress and Nancy Pelosi saying he wouldn’t be invited until after the shutdown was over, the president postponed the annual speech. Trump earlier considering giving the address at another location.

Trump’s decision to postpone either means he couldn’t find another suitable location or Pelosi told him he wouldn’t get the damage deposit back for rental of the House chamber if he canceled.

“Are there no poor houses?” During an interview on CNBC, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross said he didn’t “really quite understand why” furloughed federal workers, who have now missed two paychecks, would need to use food banks to help make ends meet. Ross suggested they could instead seek loans from the federal credit union until the shutdown ends. Commerce’s federal credit union is charging furloughed employees 9 percent interest or more on emergency loans.

Touched by his helpful advice, furloughed employees left a note in the suggestion box that Ross be named Employee of the Month for his business-generating idea.

Come along Ol’ Blue; let’s go hunting: Amazon reportedly is testing a fleet of six-wheeled delivery drones, dubbed Amazon Scouts — which are sky blue and about the size of a picnic cooler — in Snohomish County. But the online retail giant isn’t saying where exactly the robots will be roaming during tests.

We’re guessing not Gold Bar, where tech-savvy hunters would trap the drones, reprogram them and use them to carry beer and ammo during hunting trips.

Paging Rose Mary Woods: During an interview with The New Yorker magazine, President Trump attorney Rudy Giuliani appeared to catch himself admitting to the existence of recordings between Trump and former attorney Michael Cohen that had not been referenced before, suggesting he had listened to the tapes. “I shouldn’t have said tapes,” Giuliani said, trying to backtrack. “No tapes. Well, I have listened to tapes, but none of them concern this,” he said.

The editors of “The Compendium of Aphorisms and Pithy Principles” have revised the following to read: “When you find yourself in a hole, take the shovel away from Rudy Giuliani.”

Wasn’t that a chapter title in “Twilight”? Sunday’s total lunar eclipse, dubbed the Super Blood Wolf Moon, filled the sky throughout North and South America, and then filled screens as millions seemed to post photos of the reddish moon to Twitter and Facebook.

Sadly, the moon photos failed to eclipse the other viral message shared last week of protesters shouting down each other at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial.

Abject fear would cure me of depression: A 65-year-old Pennsylvania man has received the OK from his doctor to use a support animal rather than medication to treat his depression. The animal, named Wally, is a 5-foot-long alligator who eats chicken wings and lives in an indoor plastic pool.

Even so, the doctor was required to review the standard disclosure of side effects for emotional support alligators: “Use of Wally could lead to loss of fingers, hands, toes and feet. Leave one eye open when sleeping in the same room as Wally. Don’t show Wally your collection of alligator belts, shoes and briefcases. Talk to your doctor before using Wally in conjunction with other emotional support reptiles such as snakes, crocodiles or Komodo dragons.”

Email Jon Bauer at jbauer@heraldnet.com.

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