When the confetti falls on Times Square at midnight, it will be mixed with slips of paper bearing people’s hopes and wishes for the new year. Here are a few wishes that might float down from the sky:
Seahawks fans would like decent weather for Saturday’s playoff game against the Washington Redskins. After Seattle’s loss to Atlanta, which has won only four games, dry weather in January might be a safer bet than the Seahawks.
The people mentioned in a letter to Dear Abby would like new neighbors with bad eyesight. A person wrote to express concern about the frequent nudity of a 16-year-old neighbor, describing for Abby how each morning, the boy gets up at 6:45, makes cereal and watches sports shows, all in the buff. Abby advised the affronted writer to invest in a pair of curtains. Unfortunately, she failed to suggest the person take up some hobby besides people-watching.
Compulsive text-message writers would like a new law that bans texting while driving to be declared unconstitutional. And while they’re waiting for the law to be overturned, they’d like someone to invent a cell phone they can control with their thoughts and a robot arm that holds their coffee cup right at sipping level.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
