Try compassion over judgment

I am saddened by those who criticize The Herald’s notice regarding donations to the Carlile family. (Friday letter, “Detail what donations are for.”) No doubt they have not faced a tragic and untimely loss.

The letter writer points out that Marysville police officer Derek Carlile likely has excellent medical coverage. He probably does. But funeral costs are hideous. Jenna Carlile’s death was an accident and even without knowing the family (and I don’t), one can imagine that they are in the world’s worst pain. My card of support with a check was mailed before the notice about donations. I did it because after my son’s suicide years ago, many kind and compassionate people sent money to our family, no strings attached. One evening we used some of it to get out of our house of pain and grief and have a quiet family meal together in another town. The rest was used toward funeral costs. It doesn’t matter how the family uses any donations. What matters is the support of the community for a family that is awash in grief. If you haven’t experienced the loss of a child, count your blessings. If you have, you have my sympathy and compassion.

Every member of the Carlile family will pay an emotional toll for the rest of their lives. The last thing they need is criticism and cynicism. They are on a horrendous journey of grief. I will keep them close in thought and prayer.

Linda (Montague) Reeves

Marysville