What’s the deal, Santa?

Not even an iPod? It should come as no surprise to those tallying up their Christmas Day haul, but retail sales were down as much as 8 percent overall from last year, sales of luxury goods were down 34.5 percent.

I guess that’s why Santa stiffed The Buzz and didn’t leave the $109,000 2009 Tesla Roadster under the tree.

The little blue persuader: The CIA has added a new weapon to its arsenal in the war against terrorism; it’s offering Viagra to aging Afghan chieftains who may have useful information about the Taliban.

But the side-effects can be brutal; interrogations lasting longer than four hours should be reported to the Afghan grand council.

Can I have a hug? A group of Eugene, Ore., high school students is meeting with resistance to its Random Acts of Kindness Club. Mall cops chased them away when they tried to hand out cards of encouragement that said, “Have a nice day” and “You’re awesome.” And when they tried to rake one woman’s lawn they were rebuffed: “Go do your random acts of kindness somewhere else.”

Then they realized why no one trusted them: They were wearing University of Oregon sweatshirts.

Jon Bauer, Herald Staff

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