Where to stash your cash

It’s been said that in a severe recession, sales go up for safes. With that in mind, we present three choices for keeping your money under lock and key and out of banks about to be eaten by the FDIC.

There’s a fourth option: the metal coffee can, stuffed with loot and buried in your back yard. Don’t have any coffee cans? Ask your Norwegian grandmother. Or buy a can yourself. Just don’t serve that insipid brew to The Buzz.

Lincoln in HD: A restored photograph of Abraham Lincoln shows every nook and cranny, and there were a lot of them, in the storied president’s face.

Can you imagine someone with these looks winning a national election today? (We’ll say nothing of Lincoln’s bouts of depression, fondness for telling bawdy stories, and skepticism of organized religion.)

Of course, it could be that few Americans saw accurate images of Lincoln during his lifetime. Newspapers of the day couldn’t reproduce photographs.

So if a future evil scientist wants to destroy America, he’ll time-travel to 1860 with 10,000 high-resolution copies of this photo.