Today’s driving tip, taken from real life on Rucker Avenue: When the sign at the stoplight says “Left turn yield on green” it refers to the driver(s) who want to turn left; it is not an instruction to oncoming drivers going through the green light to suddenly stop and yield to someone trying to turn left. That’s very dangerous. Especially with multiple lanes. (Although it sure would be nice if drivers would stop when the light turns yellow, so someone actually can turn left.) Let’s vroom through the headlines.
“Want to beat Memorial weekend traffic? Leave yesterday”: Yesterday meaning Wednesday, according to this article. Gosh, in that case, why not play it safe and just take two weeks off, just to be sure.
“Safest suburbs in the Seattle metro area”: Hmm. The notion of “Seattle suburbs” in this case includes: Brier, Bothell, Mukilteo, Mill Creek, Edmonds, Mountlake Terrace, Arlington, Snohomish, Marysville, Lake Stevens, Monroe and Lynnwood. Good grief. With the exception of Bothell and maybe Mountlake Terrace, it must be news to these fine cities located in Snohomish County that they are all just simply suburbs of the “Seattle metro area.”
“Alcohol and Oxytocin have similar effects, new study finds, so you really were “drunk in love’?”: Yeah, similar, except for DUIs and alcohol-related violence and stuff like that. (When someone is both drunk and in love, trouble happens in the form of late-night phones messages, emails, texts, etc.)
“Fifteen sets of twins set to graduate from Valley High School in Iowa”: Wow. What’s in the corn in Des Moines?
“Suit: Competitor’s smiley face cookies ‘confusingly similar’”: What’s confusing is what you can trademark in this country. A Pennsylvania chain is suing a Chicago baker over the cookies, both of which are a version of the iconic smiley face made famous in the 1960s and ’70s. The Pennsylvania company added a nose to its smiley face and trademarked it in 1987. So what good is a silly trademark if you don’t sue someone every now and then? But smiley face cookies don’t want to be party to a frivolous lawsuit. They think it’s in bad taste. It makes them frowny.
“The Mad Men finale wasn’t a paid ad for Coke”: Apparently it was a free one.
“How Kris Jenner is really coping with Bruce’s transition”: By making it about herself?
“Michael Bennett says playing for Pete Carroll is like playing for Willy Wonka”: Well that explains all the Skittles for Marshawn Lynch. (Sometimes it looks like those huge offensive linemen for other teams who can barely move have been slipped some of that gum that turned Violet Beauregarde into a giant blueberry…)
“The Internet of Things is going to take over city hall”: The article uses the acronym “IoT” for the “Internet of Things,” which refers to “a proposed development of the Internet in which everyday objects have network connectivity, allowing them to send and receive data.” Like your house, your refrigerator, car, toothbrush, etc. So very exciting. Unless, you know, you don’t want to buy into the “Internet of Things,” or even say it . Let alone have it take over city hall…
“Squatters evicted: 40,000 bees removed from NYC home”: So that’s where they were all hiding. Crisis over!
Don’t forget to trademark your unique smiley face this week.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com
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