They know if you’ve been bad or good: If you’re looking for something new for your Christmas tree, several federal agencies and associations offer ornaments for sale. Even the National Security Agency and the CIA have ornaments.
Remember to hang the NSA and CIA ornaments about the same level as your head and to speak clearly and distinctly into the Christmas tree.
Careful, he’s got a hammer: The Bainbridge Island police department got a deal on surplus equipment recently, buying 75 riot helmets from the Los Angeles police department for a $1 each.
If you’re wondering why the upscale, ferry-commuting island would need riot gear, then you’ve never seen the carnage that can result in the waning hours of a craft fair when pottery is marked half-off and the Andean pipe players are fighting for tips with the guy who plays hammer dulcimer.
It’ll keep them warm: The Snohomish County Council passed new regulations regarding behavior at bikini barista stands. But Councilman Brian Sullivan warned that the regulations shouldn’t be seen as a “magic bullet” to the problem of baristas dressed only in thong underwear and pasties.
We understand what Sullivan was trying to say, but perhaps a better metaphor would have been “magic slanket.”
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