Bats, centaurs and Sea-chickens … oh my!

THE STARTING LINEUP

A rundown of the top sports stories in today’s Herald:

Scary stuff

For the second straight season, the Seahawks went down to Dallas and got whipped. Sunday’s loss

to the Cowboys — a 38-17 snooze-fest — made Seattle 2-5 and put it right on track for another disappointing season. After the game, Seahawks head coach Jim Mora preached accountability to his troops, saying to his players, “It starts with you.” Hey Jim, it may start with your players but if things don’t change it may end with you.

Whatever you can do …

A day after his mate between the pipes, Thomas Heemskerk, shut out Red Deer, Silvertips goalie Kent Simpson stopped 37 shots to lead Everett to a 2-1 shootout win over the Edmonton Oil Kings Sunday night. The Closer loves the good goaltending, but he’s not sure even these guys could stop Guy Laflere’s disco madness (more below).

Legends from a long time ago

Herald writer Scott M. Johnson tells the story of the 1947 Everett Junior College football team, made up mostly of WWII veterans, and its big game against Santa Rosa Junior College in the first-ever Evergreen Bowl. The first two parts of the three-part series can be found here and here, and look for the final part in Tuesday’s paper. The Closer tried writing a 15,000 word story on his time playing for a junior-college football team, but the only warfare he encountered was in the lunch room.

THE WEEKEND REWIND

A look at the big sports stories you missed while handing out candy to 19-year-olds in hockey masks:

Baseball

Well the Yankees ruled the weekend, beating the Phillies on Saturday and again on Sunday to take a commanding 3-1 lead in the World Series. Maybe it was this that turned the tide against Philadelphia. Whatever it was the Yankees could do no wrong — and that included the Alex Rodriguez, who used to seem to be allergic to October. Rodriguez hit a home run in Game 3 and knocked in the go-ahead run in Game 4 to lead the Yankees and finally earn his $250 million. Maybe it was because he found his inner Centaur.

College football

Halloween was a big night in the college game, with Oregon exposing Southern Cal and Texas whacking Oklahoma State. The Longhorns leapfrogged Alabama to No. 2 in the BCS standings, though it matters little to the Crimson Tide because they can secure a spot in the National Championship game with a win in the SEC championship game. Oregon moved up two spots and now sits one spot behind No. 7 and undefeated Boise State, which will likely continue to be a heated debate as the Ducks slog their way to a Pac-10 title. When arguing between the merits of two teams who faced each other earlier in the season, The Closer for one has always sided with the one who ended up victorious. He’s crazy like that. Oh and the Cougars lost, but you knew that.

NFL

Brett Favre was booed in his return to Lambeau Field Sunday afternoon, but it was the ol’ Gunslinger who got the last laugh, beating his former team and helping the Vikings take control of the NFC North. The Closer isn’t sure what Vikings head coach Brad Childress dressed up as for Halloween to inspire the troops, but he does know is won’t top what he wore on the trip to Pittsburgh a few weeks ago. In other action Sunday, Denver finally lost, Vince Young made his triumphant return to the Titans lineup and Peyton Manning and the Colts remained unbeaten. Oh, and things continue to get worse for Oakland, where the coach has as much off-field baggage as the players and the receivers run the ol’ Down-and-out rout to perfection:

Auto racing

NASCAR did its best to curtail the dangerous driving at Talladega Superspeedway this weekend, but things didn’t work out. Cars were flipped, bumpers were engaged and the sparks were flying Sunday afternoon, and when the smoke cleared (literally) Jamie McMurray, who isn’t even in the Chase for the Cup, was the last man standing. Jimmie Johnson’s lead grew by 184 points and his grip on the No. 1 spot remained firm with three races to go. The Closer doesn’t know why NASCAR is trying to put an end to the flying-upside-down-in-a-state-of-the-art-stock-car crashes that make these races bearable.

CURVE BALLS

Batsketball

It was only fitting that a bat would terrorize an NBA game on Halloween, but the black, winged creature had no idea that Spurs guard Manu Ginobili was an Argentinian bat-slayer. Watch the video below and enjoy:

The new Spike Lee

Former Knicks guard Stephon Marbury held true to his word and recently went to a New York home basketball game, sat in the front row and started filming the game. Marbury was filming the game to put online later, but he was kicked out for having the wrong ticket. Just like most of his shots, Marbury was just a bit off the mark.

Duke rhymes with puke

Former Blue Devil and current Orlando Magic guard J.J. Redick is reportedly going to release a rap album. Oh boy, what’s next? Adam Morrison sings the blues?

THE RUNDOWN

The top five worst athlete-turned-musician ventures:

1. Carl Lewis. The sprinter hits all the wrong notes in this song. Description: “He runs, he jumps, he … sings?

2. Deion Sanders. Prime Time tells you what it MUST be about:

3. Kobe Bryant. Lakers star takes a turn at the mic … safe to say he should stick to his day job.

4. Shaquille O’Neal. The big man was a rapping sensation early on in his career. And by sensation, The Closer means failure.

5. Guy Laflere. The Canadiens star hockey player released a disco record in the 70s. That about sums it up.