Column hardly helps ease rage, hostility

Since Sept. 11, I have been searching for a sensible finish to a column about youth sports. Sept. 11 will never be finished, nor will this column. By the end of each day since the terrorist attacks, writing had only increased my rage and hostility.

Watching TV in shock and disbelief, there were no reasonable thoughts of education sports.

Educators ask kids every day to write what they feel, rather than parroting what was said. I know controlling feelings is a major lesson to be learned by youth in sports, but I couldn’t. My anger, disbelief and distress were explained incoherently and in unprintable terms.

Sitting before the TV during the days that followed, hardened tears temporarily washed away my belief in fair play and blurred whatever remains of my humanitarianism. At night, before a keyboard, anger and a desire for retaliation replaced words that communicated justice or sportsmanship.

I searched for and found an old picture of some Bearcat footballers horseplaying in the Monroe High School locker room below a sign that said, “Cheaters never win and winners never cheat.”

As unbefitting as it probably is, I couldn’t help wonder if the horrendous actions were carried out by those who had at some time competed in youth sports. Has the competitive nature of sports been used to program kids into insensitivity? Who could not have been disheartened by the images of adults and children celebrating a tragedy set upon Americans by their role models?

Pride goes beyond celebrations. Pride comes from coaches who model feeling good only when achievements are absent of terrorizing or intimidating or “dissin’.”

No one smiled about our president’s promise of what is to come. Because of World War II, most people of my generation can connect with the unspoken fear brave young men and women conceal. The expectations and confidence placed on youth during war causes time, futures and fears to be put on unpredictable hold.

On Sept. 12, the world began to join Team USA. A world team. Canadians sang our National Anthem and in London Her Majesty’s Colestream Guard played The Star Spangled Banner. In the Buckingham Palace crowd, seated in a wheelchair, an elderly lady held a salute that shadowed tears streaming over a somber, age-wise face.

An emotional identification with fellow members of Team USA had a calming effect. The personal gift for 262 million Americans came from USA Teams of firefighters, police officers, moms, dads, members of the military, politicians, reporters, religious leaders, and genuine volunteers. Our future team members (children), waving red, white and blue flags and offering flowers gave assurance it was OK to change feelings of “me” to “we.”

I tried, but couldn’t de-personalize the responsibility for how we may have prepared our former and present students for irrational blows like this. Eventually the doubts occur. Have we been right in downsizing patriotism?

In school we used to require all students to take their hats off during the Pledge of Allegiance. We used to require kids to stand with hand over heart while singing our National Anthem. We taught and explained the words. We set a standard of respect during assemblies.

We used to make sure the flag never touched the ground. Standing at attention as a team, helmets off, eyes on the rising flag, was a special moment. We tolerated acts of individual freedom and rights when “they” didn’t conform. Were we right? What could I have done better?

Then the president says, repeated numerous times over TV, things are going to change. We are asked if we are willing to give up some of our freedom to combat the threat to our way of life. More than 75 percent have said yes.

Friday’s National Day of Prayer and Remembrance gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Entertainment football and other adult games were canceled while the education sports and the healing sparked by active youth continues.

I don’t remember who said “adversity introduces us to ourselves and our character,” but I like to think the men and women I coached accepted some of that. Youth sports provide some minor-league practices and experiences with real world adversities. I keep in my heart people I never met. The wheelchair-bound person’s friend who stayed at his side during the rush to leave the collapsing World Trade Center … and the children…

I keep writing my feelings. Today, unlike a game, this column will bring no closure. Those who follow will inherit what we leave for them. We will leave a world unified as a team against terrorism.

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