Hawaiian Punch (Tui, Texeira, Baron) wins Idol; Bad Bodies third (and disgusting)

This just in…

The trio of Matt Tuiasosopo, Kanekoa Texeira and Steven Baron — known in entertainment circles as “Hawaiian Punch” — has won the Mariners’ American Idol-like competition this morning.

They performed a near-perfect Haka dance. Mike Sweeney, playing the role of host Ryan Seacrest, said Baron was an absolute doll in his grass skirt and coconuts, although he lost the coconuts by the end of the performance.

The competition didn’t end without a major dispute. The group known as El Cantando Batteria de Venezuela (Guillermo Quiroz, Mauricio Robles and Luis Oliveros) lost by one vote, apparently because catcher Eliezer Alfonzo’s wife broke his cell phone last night and he couldn’t submit a text vote. Alfonzo was visibly steamed afterward, claiming his vote should have counted.

Yes, the team had a high-tech way of voting. Bullpen catcher Jason Phillips stayed in the clubhouse and accepted text voting from players in the multipurpose room where the performances were held.

The judges were Ken Griffey Jr. (Randy Jackson), Eric Byrnes (Ellen DeGeneres) and Ryan Rowland-Smith (Simon Cowell), along with guest judge Ichiro Suzuki (Posh Spice?). Hard to picture Rowland-Smith being a perfect ass, but he mustered up enough of a jerk attitude to tell pitcher Ricky Orta he shouldn’t have used a BeDazzler to decorate his shirt.

Ichiro would hold up signs with such words as “Fantastic” or “Brutal” and speak to the contestants in Japanese. Griffey then would translate into English, although “I think it broke down in the process,” manager Don Wakamatsu said.

Perhaps the most pleasant surprise was the performance by Bad Bodies Swinging Big Bats (beefy first basemen Brad Nelson, Tommy Everidge and Mike Carp).

In a routine they put together at 7 o’clock this morning, they flung bagels into the audience and, at one point, Carp pulled a Burger King Whopper out of his pants. Sweeney called it the most disgusting part of the entire show, although the team liked it enough to vote the Bad Bodies into third place.

The Bad Bodies actually thought they might finish higher in the voting.

“I thought we had the most energy,” Carp said. “I think it was the best performance. But they said they couldn’t hear the lyrics.”

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Sports

Mountlake Terrace’s Svayjeet Singh leaps in the air after the basketball during the 3A district loser-out playoff game against Snohomish on Thursday, Feb. 13, 2025 in Mountlake Terrace, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Snohomish upsets Mountlake Terrace for first playoff win in 11 years

Bryson Wheat scored 25 in Panthers’ 49-43 win to advance to the District 1 Boys 3A quarterfinals

Prep roundup for Thursday, Feb. 13

Snohomish, Marysville Getchell, Lakewood boys each earn district wins

Shorewood senior Bridget Cox (11) elevates to get a shot over Everett senior Aimelie Hovde-Girard (21) in Shorewood's 41-30 win in the opening round of the District 1 3A Girls Tournament on Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2025 in Shoreline, Washington. (Joe Pohoryles / The Herald)
Shorewood girls basketball avoids Everett upset bid in 41-30 win

Glasser’s ‘dagger’ 3 caps second-half run, pushes No. 5 Stormrays to 3A District 1 Quarterfinals

Prep roundup for Wednesday, Feb. 12

Terrace, Monroe girls advance in district hoops tournament.

Kimberly Beard, a Mukilteo resident who attends King's High School, prepares to release a throw during the 20-pound weight competition at George Fox University in Newberg, Ore. on Saturday, Feb. 8, 2025. (Photo courtesy of Donna Beard)
Mukilteo’s Kimberly Beard wins throwing event

The King’s High School junior won the 20-pound weight throw at a George Fox indoor meet.

Seahawks right tackle Abraham Lucas (72), who will be coached by his third offensive line coach in three seasons in 2025, lines up in Seattle's 20-17 win over San Francisco at Levi's Stadium on Nov. 17, 2024. (Photo courtesy of Edwin Hooper / Seattle Seahawks)
Seahawks hire shows they’re serious about offensive line

New offensive coordinator bringing in veterans with hopes of improving front.

Vote for The Herald’s Prep Athlete of the Week for Feb. 2-8

The Athlete of the Week nominees for Feb. 2-8. Voting closes at… Continue reading

Stanwood High School football coach Jeff Scoma talks with the referees during the 3A quarterfinal game against Odea on Saturday, Nov. 19, 2022 in Seattle, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Former Stanwood football coach lands new Gig

Jeff Scoma, who resigned midseason in 2024, will coach Gig Harbor H.S. next season.

Mariners among biggest offseason losers

Juan Soto, LA Dodgers are among winners as baseball begins.

High schoolers challenge Trump’s ban of trans athletes

Two transgender high school students have challenged President Trump’s executive order barring… Continue reading

Prep basketball roundup for Tuesday, Feb. 11

Tulalip Heritage finishes second in district tournament.

Vancouver Giants goalie Burke Hood makes a play for the puck against the Everett Silvertips, who lost 6-2 to the Giants at Langley Events Centre on Saturday, one day after clinching a WHL playoff spot. (Rob Wilton, Giants/Special to Black Press Media).
Tips Week in Review: Everett first in WHL to clinch playoff berth

The Silvertips defeated Kamloops on Friday to secure spot, but lost to Vancouver on Saturday

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.