How ‘bout a group hug?

TODAY’S LINEUP

A look at the top sports stories in today’s edition of The Herald:

1. Here’s one vote for changing their name to HarperTips

On the way to winning their 10th straight game, the Everett Silvertips got a record-tying performance from Shane Harper. His goal was the 87th of Harper’s career, matching the Silvertips’ record set by Zach Hamill. The Sounders might have to wait 87 years before they score 87 goals.

2. Cindy McCain would be proud of this public affection

The press conference introducing the Seahawks’ new GM started with a hug. Let’s just hope the 2010 season doesn’t end with a choke hold and some finger-pointing.

3. One knockout performance is enough, thank you

Redmond skier Scott Macartney is returning to his own house of horrors while trying to qualify for the U.S. Olympic team. He ended up in a coma the last time he raced on this course. That would have been enough to make The Closer switch to curling.

4. They’re lobbying for one of those ‘neutral site’ games at KeyArena

The UW men’s basketball team has hit the road again in preparation of tonight’s game at UCLA and Saturday’s game at USC. Forward Quincy Pondexter said he’s most excited about a shot at meeting UCLA alum Jaleel White, who played television character Urkel in the 1990s. In UW’s last road trip, the Huskies played their own TV role: “Lost.”

5. He’s not Felix Hernandez, but …

The M’s officially took a pitcher off their arbitration list Wednesday, but it wasn’t the one we wanted. While the King Felix deal continues to hover, the M’s signed Brandon League to a one-year deal. He should help boost a pitching staff that recently included a bunch of guys named Pacific Coast League.

THE WARMUP PITCH

Beijing didn’t truck in the sun, did it?

The checklist for Winter Olympic host cities is pretty succinct. Big city: check. Snow: uh, well … Our neighbors to the north are so winter-challenged that they’ll be trucking in synthetic snow. Don’t believe the rumors that the U.S. snowboard team is planning to truck in synthetic grass.

Angels attempt to get revenge for the Chone Figgins signing

The Los Angeles Angels quietly made a big move in searching for John Lackey’s replacement, signing ex-Mariner Joel Pineiro. Let’s just hope Pineiro, who had a career year in St. Louis last season, goes back to his old ways in the AL. Just call it the Cirillo Factor.

Meanwhile, Tom Cable suggests they give him the Conan settlement

While Tom Cable waits in limbo, the Oakland Raiders continue to deny they’ve interviewed any coaching candidates. Cable, a Snohomish native, is waiting patiently, hoping that rejections from 150 candidates will be enough for the Raiders to bring him back.

How the mighty have fallen

Wednesday gave us a reminder at how quickly the balance of power can shift — in all sports. First came word that recent world No. 1 Ana Ivanovic, now ranked 20th, lost in the second round of the Australian Open. Then comes word that defending champ Carolina is still feeling blue on the men’s basketball circuit, having lost their third consecutive game. Oh, and don’t forget who’s hosting the NFC Championship game this Sunday. Does this mean there’s hope for championship-challenged Seattle in the near future?

CURVE BALLS

The wild and wacky news from the world of sports …

Way to stand up and be a man — although, he was probably sitting when he typed it

Tennis star Andy Roddick apologized for his profanity-laced tirade on live television earlier this week. Roddick used his Twitter page to make the announcement. This guy is dating an SI cover model; the Closer could think of about 10 million better ways to spend his time rather than tweeting!

And speaking of apologies …

Andy Roddick isn’t the only potty-mouthed figure in sports. USC women’s coach Michael Cooper, who will be in town tonight for a game against UW, opened a weekend press conference by saying “down with UCLA!” Only, he didn’t say “down with.” With role models like this, the earmuff industry should be booming.

Why we should change the name of the Space Needle to Robert Swift Agility Center

A Tennessee man has filed paperwork to change the name of his sewage plant to … well, you have to read it to believe it. Problem is, Al Davis already has patented the name.

No. 11: The Hutchinson Transition Tag Curse

The San Francisco Chronicle has come up with 10 curses that may be plaguing NFL teams. Doesn’t say anything about the Trash-Talking-Tight-End-Who-Drops-Every-Pass-in-the-Big-Game Curse. I’m just saying …

THE RUNDOWN

The staff here at The Bullpen does more than just get The Closer coffee and donuts. One of our interns was able to pry this top-secret document from the Bay Area. Here we have the never-before-seen questionnaire that Al Davis has been passing out to potential candidates for the Raiders’ coaching job that may or may not be available:

1. The following quarterback is better than JaMarcus Russell:

A) Tom Brady

B) Drew Brees

C) Peyton Manning

D) If you answered A, B or C, please join Tom Cable in the Lane Kiffin Annex

2. The greatest franchise in sports is:

A) The Oakland Raiders

B) What used to be the L.A. Raiders

C) The Silver and Black

D) Eleven mini-Al Davises

3. Lane Kiffin is _________________ (fill in expletive here)

4. In 200 words or less, please explain what the phrase “Whatever you say, boss” means to you: