TODAY’S LINEUP
A look at the top sports stories in this morning’s edition of The Herald:
1. And to think that the UW chess club has a Quincy AND a Pondexter on its roster
The University of Washington basketball team is looking for more than just hospital masks these days. The Huskies are searching for someone to step into Jon Brockman’s leadership role, and it looks like senior Quincy Pondexter already has accepted the job. Until his name is Dr. Pondexter, the Huskies are still going to be down a few men.
2. Johjima takes his ball and goes home
It turns out that family wasn’t the only thing that led Mariners catcher Kenji Johjima back to Japan. The soft-hitting, oft-injured catcher wasn’t happy about his playing time. Apparently, the M’s pitchers weren’t real happy with his playing time, either. They would have preferred that he spent his time playing elsewhere.
3. It’s not over until the fat linemen sing
The Seahawks, at 2-4, aren’t exactly sitting atop the NFL perch right now. But Jim Mora’s bandaged, bruised and iced-down bunch is reminding fans that the season is not over yet. The Mariners’ clubhouse is saying the same thing right now: “It’s not over until … hey, where did everybody go?”
4. Just don’t blame him for that whole balloon-boy thing
Huskies defensive coordinator Nick Holt told his players that he was the one to blame for last Saturday’s bone-headed finish. The Closer believes that Holt is just covering up for some bone-headed players, so if UW gets in that situation again, expect to find the d-coordinator himself standing near the goal line, ready to knock down any pass that goes longer than 30 yards.
5. Somewhere this weekend, Bellotti will beat up Willingham just for old time’s sake
The latest installment of the Washington-Oregon rivalry features two new head coaches. The Closer doesn’t care about any of that. All he wants to know is how the Ducks’ uniforms are going to look this week. Since OregoNike is running out of combinations, The Closer is getting nervous that they’re going to go with transparent uniforms one of these Saturdays.
THE WARMUP PITCH
Throw in a few Duke fans, and this might be the most obnoxious gathering of all time
The Phillies held up their end of the deal, clinching the NLCS title Wednesday night. Tonight, the Yankees are likely to put the finishing touches on a New York-Philadelphia World Series. Oh, joy. There’s two fan bases that can crawl back under whatever rock they came out from. If The Closer wanted to watch a bunch of overweight hooligans arguing about cheese steaks and thin-crust pizza, he’d buy Season 3 of The Sopranos on DVD.
How much longer until he becomes Mr. Irrelevant?
Did you hear what the No. 1 pick in the 2010 NFL draft did this week? But enough about Ndamukong Suh … tap-tap BOOM! The non-story of Wednesday was that OU’s Sam Bradford told the media: “Oh, you were waiting for me?” The reigning Heisman winner gave reporters the Heisman by not showing up for his own presser.
Only 113 more days until the curling begins!!!
Vancouver officially kicked off the 2010 Olympic countdown by lighting the ceremonial torch Thursday. The U.S. snowboarding team lit a ceremonial torch of its own, and chances are that it will be out of their system by the time the Games begin.
The Price is right … but only when his job’s at stake
For the second time this season, Everett native Mike Price may have saved his job at UTEP by knocking off a big-time opponent. If you consider Tulsa big-time, that is. (Hey, at least they’ve got a WNBA team. That’s about all we’ve got going for us up here in Seattle, too.) Price does well when the competition heats up, so maybe he should coach in a bigger conference. We hear there might be an opening on the east side of the state …
He also thinks Wade Phillips should get a nine-year extension
Former Seahawk Steve Largent was sticking up for his ol’ buddy this week, telling a Seattle radio station that Jim Zorn is getting a raw deal in D.C. The Closer says that if Jim Zorn is aghast at the way Daniel Snyder treats his coaches, the Z-Man must not have spent much time researching how Daniel Snyder treats his coaches … before he took the job.
CURVE BALLS
Too bad that backup plan as a scab ref in the NBA fell through
The Southeastern Conference has suspended the officiating crew from last weekend’s Arkansas-Florida game. Apparently, they watched too many replays of Super Bowl XL before taking the field.
Because David Letterman isn’t returning her calls
More evidence has surfaced as to why an old, married man should stay away from Monica Lewinsky-wanna-be’s. This time, it’s a creepy ESPN analyst who has been put on leave — from his job, if not his own house. It’s not a good sign when TMZ and 9-1-1 are mentioned in a story about anyone’s off-screen life. Fortunately for The Closer, the only people stalking me are my boss (“Most people get paid to work, you know”) and my mother (“Are you down there playing on that computer again?”).
On sale next: A “Get Fitzgerald-ed” T-shirt with Kelly Jennings’s bleeding face on it
Because the Seahawks couldn’t get anyone to bite on the lime-green jerseys, the next move was to take advantage of Owen Schmitt’s concussion. Hate to see what the slogan would’ve been had former safety Reggie Tongue been the guy who smashed his helmet on his cranium. Or Josh Booty. Or … OK, that’s enough; The Closer has to report back to his third-grade classroom now.
THE RUNDOWN
Jeff Fisher might not have made the best decision of his career when he jokingly donned a Peyton Manning jersey this week, but it certainly wasn’t the biggest fashion faux pas of all time. Here are a few that have been tough for sports fans to forget:
1. Ricky Williams in a wedding dress: When the New Orleans Saints gave up their entire draft to pick Texas running back Ricky Williams, it proved just how much Saints coach Mike Ditka loved him. Actually, this proved how much of a crush Ditka loved his man. We’re going to give Ricky a pass because this was during his smoking years.
2. Mike Tyson’s face tattoo: If anyone asks how he got on this list, tell him it was Bob from the Marketing Department who made the choice. The Closer had nothing to do with it.
3. Roy Williams sporting the Jayhawk: After losing to Kansas in the Final Four, North Carolina coach Roy Williams sported a Jayhawks sticker while watching the championship game. Didn’t go over well on Tobacco Road.
4. Stockton’s shorts: What the Fab Five did for basketball shorts might have been extreme, but couldn’t Spokane’s finest have taken a cue that maybe it was time to see a tailor?
5. Lime-green Seahawks: That loss to the Bears was ugly on several levels, not the least of which were those awful uniforms. Next time the Can’t-See-Hawks wear something that obnoxious, The Closer’s going back to black-and-white television.
Contact The Closer at inthebullpen@heraldnet.com.
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