When do World Series tickets go on sale?

TODAY’S LINEUP

A look at the top sports stories in today’s edition of The Herald:

1. But we’ve already given them a two-game lead in the ALCS

After a strong offseason that included trading for Cliff Lee, extending Felix Hernandez’s contract and re-signing Erik Bedard, the Mariners have done everything they need to do to be successful this season. Oh, except one thing: They haven’t won a game yet. The Mariners’ new-look pitching staff is ready to make its spring training debut, and these arms aren’t resting on their laurels. Is it wrong that The Closer is already wondering whether a three-man or four-man rotation would be better come October?

2. Tomahawks one step closer to elusive goal

The Marysville-Pilchuck girls basketball team hasn’t been to a state tournament in 12 years. But that may be about to change. A blowout victory Wednesday night left the Tomahawks one win away from a trip to the Tacoma Dome. Geez, is that their reward … a trip to Tacoma? No wonder it’s taken so long.

3. And KeyArena is hoping to cash in on a Sonics postseason game

The Washington men’s basketball team is holding out hope that it can finish strong and earn a bid to the NCAA tournament. All the Huskies need is a five-game winning streak … as long as three of those wins come against Gonzaga, Kansas, Kentucky, Syracuse and the UConn women.

4. She’ll be feeling labor pains two years before her first baby

Blaine native Karen Thatcher said she realized she’d scored her first Olympic goal for the U.S. women’s hockey team “as I shot the puck.” Now that’s optimism. The Closer has a similar feeling every time he sits down at the computer: as soon as I type my first letter, I know it’s going to be another disaster.

5. He’s thinking of changing his name to Kyle Roethlisberger

The Silvertips are still trying to get over Tuesday’s controversial goal by former teammate Kyle Beach, who was awarded a score that might not have been a score. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? First Testaverde, then Roethlisberger, and now this? Pretty soon, Torii Hunter is going to be crossing home plate after Ichiro catches his pop fly on the warning track.

THE WARMUP PITCH

No miracle needed this time

The U.S. Olympic hockey team made Swiss cheese out of its first opponent Tuesday, dispatching of Switzerland 3-1. Of course, that result meant little to our neighbors to the north, who were too busy basking in an 8-0 pasting of Norway. Hey, hosers, we’ve got one thing to say: At least down here we know that when you’re going to host the Olympics, you might want to serve SNOW!

Because the Oden Man couldn’t, the Camby Man can

The Portland Trail Blazers took a step toward moving past the choice of Sam Bowie … er, Michael Olowokandi … er, Kwame Brown … uh, Greg Oden. P-town has a new center to fill in while their Hall of Fame lock recovers from his latest injury. Nate McMillan is so frustrated by Oden’s series of injuries that he was overheard whispering: “How much would it take to get Swift and Sene down here?” Meanwhile, the biggest prize of the NBA trade season is still waiting for a new address.

With no salary cap and no Plan B, the Rams are ready to offer Locker $500 mill

When Jake Locker pulled out of the 2010 NFL draft, it left the St. Louis Rams without many options in terms of rookie quarterbacks. Now Notre Dame’s Jimmy Clausen appears to be making that shallow pool even more dry. A toe injury should keep him from participating in the NFL Combine, meaning there won’t be much footage because of Clausen’s footage. All the scouts know for sure is that Clausen struggles with blindside pressure after post-game meals. (And speaking of blind sides, word is that Patrick Kerney doesn’t think he’s done yet. We’ll see how NFL GM’s feel about the subject.)

‘Coach Pete? There’s no one here by that name’

If anyone shows up at Seahawks headquarters looking for Pete Carroll this week, he might want to take the fifth. It’s time for USC’s athletic program to pay the piper, and Coach Carroll should be happy to have changed addresses. And when it comes to addresses, we’re betting that Reggie Bush is planning on staying at his New Orleans one rather than answer to the one USC boosters paid for in L.A.

Our thoughts and prayers go out for a former Sonics great

Some sad news came down Tuesday, when former Sonics coach George Karl announced that he has throat cancer. Karl was one of the more colorful, successful coaches this city has seen, and The Closer wishes him nothing but a quick recovery.

CURVE BALLS

The wild and wacky news from the world of sports …

Johnny Weir was just glad they had something else to do

PETA showed up at the Westminster Dog Show this week, temporarily stealing the spotlight from Sadie the Scottish terrier. You know which dog we’d like to see on display? Brockman the Husky. Dawg, we miss ya.

But ‘Drink Molson’ would’ve been just fine

U.S. goaltender Ryan Miller was asked to remove the slogan “Miller Time” from his helmet. Vancouver officials also asked him to remove the helmet, and the glove, and the pads, and the stick, for the Americans’ upcoming game with Canada.

THE RUNDOWN

Valentine’s Day came and went Sunday, and The Closer wasn’t the only one getting valentines (by the way, thanks to the Seagals for flooding my mailbox last week — hope there weren’t any catfights on my behalf). We’ve unearthed five other love letters that secretly exchanged hands over the weekend:

Dear Coach Petey:

I’m SO glad things worked out between us. Sorry about all that hate mail you keep getting from my ex, Jim, but he’ll get over it. I guess he’s never been cheated on before.

Yours,

Tod Leiweke

—-

Dear Brett:

Please, please PLEASE don’t leave me now. We made such great magic together. I don’t care if you’re old and ready to move on. I can’t live without you. No, really … I CAN’T live without you.

Forever your coach (or as long as you’ll have me, anyway),

Brad “Your No. 1 fan” Childress

—-

Dearest Sung and Lee:

I can’t tell you how much my life has changed since you fell for me.

Forever grateful,

Apolo Ohno

—-

To our little Stanford Wanford:

You’ve given us something we never thought possible. Without you, we might never have another road win. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Gratefully,

Lorenzo, Quincy and Isaiah