Well, it’s that time of year again; it’s Chris¿ I mean, non-denominational holiday winter celebration time. Aw, it warms my heart. The weather’s cold, the fires are toasty and Santas all over the country shake their little bells and ask for donations outside of stores. Of course, a lot of stores won’t let Santa pretend to be real outside their building because some wet blankets out there say that since Santa has to do with Christmas, then he must be trying to shove Christianity down our throats. Come on, the only people that Santa means anything to are little kids, and I’m pretty sure none of them are going to start a mass religious uprising anytime soon. If you’re going to be a wet blanket during this time of year, you are going to freeze.
It’s also a time of giving and receiving gifts. Be careful about what toys have small parts. A lot of toys come with them because, as we all know, if Barbie doesn’t have a cell phone, she isn’t cool enough to hang out with your daughter. I’m not a little girl, but I’m assuming that Barbie dolls are still relevant. Also be aware of where your toy comes from. Ever since the massive lead poisoning scare in China, you can’t be too careful. Make sure the box says “Tickle Me Elmo” instead of the slightly less popular “Poison Me Grover.” Be wary of games that teach violence, such as “Halo 3.” Last I heard, 3 out of 5 homicides were committed because the offender thought the victim was an alien, usually a Brute. Personally, I don’t have a problem with these games because when we’re inevitably invaded by aliens, we’ll be able to take care of ourselves.
One of my favorite parts of Christmas is when the news stations have Santa “tracked” on radar. We all know this is just an excuse for the government to launch a cruise missile without anybody freaking out. Something I don’t like is “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Does anybody else think that he’s clinically depressed? No, but seriously, I love this time of year. I’m all about the spirit of Christmas. When I light up the tree, empty my stocking and open my presents, I try to remember the true meaning of Christmas ¿ the release of “Alien vs. Predator 2.” Merry holidays, everybody. Merry holidays indeed.
Patrick McDonald
Edmonds-Woodway High School senior
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