Comic on duty

War isn’t a laughing matter. But comedian Chris Alpine hopes to bring American troops some much needed laughter during a three-week tour of Iraq with the Detroit-based group Comics On Duty.

Alpine, a Meadowdale High School graduate, has spent the better part of 20 years performing locally and nationally as a comedian. But he’s also a versatile entertainer who can also call himself a cooking show host, a filmmaker and the author of a Bill Gates paper doll book, among other talents. This fall Alpine will launch “Chris Can’t Cook,” a new comedy show that will initially air on Tacoma PBS station KBTC. Alpine will star as a cooking show host who can’t cook. Alpine describes the series as being like the Larry Sanders show, “a show within a show.” He’ll also be appearing in edgy commercials as the pitchman for Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

The comedian has been entertaining troops across the globe for several years now, working with the USO, Armed Forces Entertainment and now Comics On Duty. In 2003 alone, Alpine toured Iraq three times, most recently in September. “It’s an honor to be asked back — or they’re still upset and just want a second shot at me,” he said, laughing.

Alpine’s tour is tentatively set to include locations in Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Bahrain. “We don’t even know where we’re going, let alone staying,” Alpine said. “The military can’t give out that information because it’s classified.” The performers stay with the troops while in country, which Alpine says can mean “sleeping on the ground or on cots in bombed out buildings, Saddam’s palaces, crowded tents, little tiny rooms on ships or at an airfield waiting for a plane.” The only preparation he says he needs for this grueling schedule “is drinking four liters of water a day. You just can’t get enough water in your system for 120 degree heat.”

The increased danger in Iraq over the last several weeks is a concern to Alpine, but his previous visits have given him some perspective on the risks.

“Our movements this trip will be very restricted due to the continued troubles,” he said. “The military takes extra precautions with us, as they do with any civilians working with them, to ensure our safety. Obviously, it’s a very dangerous place to be but we are there by choice.”

Alpine’s ultimate priority is supporting the troops. “Once you do a tour in a combat area you realize how much it means to these soldiers that you came to perform for them,” he said. “It makes them feel they haven’t been forgotten, are appreciated and someone cares about them.”

He’s gratified by the response he’s received from the soldiers and sailors he’s met during his previous visits, which is what keeps him coming back. “The response is overwhelming and the troops just can’t do enough for you to make your stay with them as comfortable as possible,” Alpine said. “Of course, it should be the other way around. We owe these folks a huge debt of gratitude for what the endure every day.”