Lessons in Love

It’s estimated that more than 60 percent of Americans will be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year, spending more than 13 billion dollars on their sweethearts.

But what of the other 40 percent of people who aren’t the object of someone else’s affection?

That’s where dating coach Alma Avery Rubenstein comes in. Founder of The Professional Dater, a full service singles agency in Seattle, Rubenstein will be teaching a series of classes on dating and flirting at Edmonds Community College in February and March.

The Brooklyn, N.Y. native came to Seattle three years ago after working for several years in New York and Los Angeles as a professional actress. Not long after arriving, she began to notice that “there were tons of singles here, but they weren’t successfully connecting,” Rubenstein said.

That observation motivated the self-described “hopeless romantic” to start The Professional Dater, and her matchmaking services have been in demand ever since. Today she’s a frequent guest on local television and radio shows and has appeared on both “Blind Date” and ABC’s “The Bachelor,” offering up dating advice to contestants.

With 51 percent of American women now living without a spouse, being single has much less of a stigma than it once did. “People aren’t getting married right out of high school; they’re actually getting to know who they are,” and who they want to be with, Rubenstein said.

But for many, being single isn’t necessarily a choice; the prospect of interacting with the opposite sex is incredibly intimidating. Whether it’s because of repeated rejections or being thrown back into the dating pool after leaving a long-term relationship, “I think there are a lot of people now who have either given up, or are just set in their ways,” Rubenstein said. “But I really do think there is someone for everyone out there. It’s a big world and sometimes it just takes people longer than others to find someone.”

Rubenstein’s class offerings at EdCC get students started on the path to romance, but for those looking for a more personalized experience, The Professional Dater offers matchmaking, speed dating and other singles oriented events. Intensive coaching services include a five week program working the client on his or her self-image and the image they project to others.

“We go shopping, we have them practice body language, we have them practice giving out their business card, we do a makeover session,” Rubenstein said. “It’s a little bit of therapy, of putting the outside together with the inside.” Rubenstein’s team will also help clients write an attention-getting profile for online dating services.

“I don’t care how they meet their soulmate, whether it’s through me, or one of my events, or they do it on their own,” Rubenstein said, “as long as it’s proactive, that’s what’s important.”