SHORELINE — A poster hanging in the main entrance of Sunset Elementary School bears messages to two young girls who died tragically Nov. 22.
One message written by a student reflects the loss many in the school community are feeling; it reads, “She was my only friend who understood me.” Another says, “I’ll miss you so much. You brought us so much happiness.”
The grieving process and remembrance of young Hayley and Kelsey Byrne, ages 9 and 11, has begun at Sunset, where the girls were students before their deaths in Edmonds.
Word of the apparent double murder-suicide sent shockwaves through the school and the communities in which they lived. In response, Sunset principal Kathryn Noble and Shorewood High School counselor Carmela Dellino led an emotional discussion with a group of more than 40 parents and supporters at a family forum at the elementary school Nov. 23.
Noble explained how the school dealt with the news and shared it with the students, and Dellino talked about how students are coping with the information.
Each classroom teacher first read the same explanation to their students on the morning of Nov. 23, but what followed in classroom discussions varied greatly.
“They discussed the death of the two children. They discussed grief. They discussed loss,” Noble said. “The children found a variety of ways of expressing their sorrow.”
Noble described the explanation as “brief and yet complete,” she said. “We were truthful, but we did not go into great detail.”
The school had a dozen or so counselors on hand to talk with students in groups or individually, whichever the student preferred. There was also an additional adult in each classroom.
“We strove all day long to find the balance between honoring and respecting and listening,” Noble said.
While the circumstances were difficult for the students, it naturally also was very hard for the teachers, Noble said.
“It was fairly remarkable to see children supporting teachers as well as teachers supporting children,” she said.
Dellino talked with the parents about ways to address and recognize the feelings that many students were experiencing. She said students may go through many different emotions including sorrow, shock, anger, guilt, fear and confusion. Dellino explained that this is natural, and that it will be difficult for both parents and students during the next couple of weeks.
“This is going to be difficult for you,” she told the parents. “You are loving and sensitive parents and this is the time when you will need to be the most loving and sensitive.”
Dellino explained that all children grieve differently, and it’s important to allow time for that. She said the parents may need time to grieve and deal with the news as well.
“Of course, we still have questions,” Noble said. “All of us will have questions. And they will be answered one by one.”
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