This ‘Odd Couple’ gets broad treatment

It’s girls’ night out when the curtain goes up. Chatty Cathys playing trivial pursuit are chattering away like magpies. The talk is gossip. The mood is catty. And get this. The women in the audience perk up, I mean right now, like feeding time in the hen house. And the men? They start checking their watches.

Thus the die is cast for this, Edge’s latest offering. The title speaks for itself: “The Odd Couple — Female Version!” It’s a spin-off and a makeover of the Neil Simon comedy classic that puts together as roommates, Felix Unger and Oscar Madison: which is to say, a neat-freak hypochondriac and a sportswriter-slob, both divorced men.

“Female Version” has the same elements except change “Felix” to “Florence” and “Oscar” to “Olive.” A small change, it would seem; but one that would stump Einstein in his prime, no question.

How else can you account for the lady sitting next to you getting a kick out of Christina Buchen as Florence Unger? Buchen stands at the door when her husband boots her out for being an emotional mess, just looking pitiful and waiting for, quotes, fingers up on both sides, “emotional support?” Or when she goes into hysterics every time the phone rings? It may be her husband wanting her back. She wants it to be. She doesn’t. What the devil does she want?

Or how about the female audience’s complete and unconditional sympathy for Sara Trowbridge as Olive Madison? Trowbridge appears reasonably levelheaded. Yet, she puts up with Flo’s endless temper tantrums, fanatical housekeeping, arms and neck that suddenly, and for no reason paralyze with pain, always imagined? How possibly can a sane person go along with that behavior? Beats me, all of it.

On the other hand, we men stopped checking our watches and perked up with the women when Jack Hamblin and Timothy Kelly got into the act as the Spaniard-Latin Lovers upstairs. These guys know what to say and how to say it to make Florence Unger or Flo, the shriveling, sniveling violet of all time, feel like queen for a day. They listen. They care. They sympathize. They empathize. They fraternize and socialize. And by George, Flo transforms into feeling, vibrant, feminine, female life; she flowers. Nothing less than amazing, say I; and true to life. I don’t say I understand it. But it feels right.

Elizabeth Adkisson as Mickey the cop puts a nice feminine touch to law enforcement, caring but no nonsense. Danette Meline does the ditzy blonde and easy target for the girlfriend jokes. Allison Wedell Schumacher as Sylvie scores one for the penguins when she announces she is pregnant like the penguins that mate but once a year. And Edge-debuting Dayna Ankney rounds out the cast of typically catty chatty-Cathy girlfriends.

I can’t say this one kept me on pins and needles or cracked me up. But Simon can write women, and this cast of women can translate his writing for other women. So, men, take your lady to see this if you want to please her. And bring your watch.