Woo-woo woot

A penny for your implausible health claims: Oh wait, there is hardly any copper in a penny. Anyway, the Federal Trade Commission has come down hard on clothing retailer Tommie Copper for its TV informercials claiming that its copper-infused compression garments relieves chronic pain.

For Tommie Copper users, Dr. Buzz advises ibuprofen, which also can lessen eye pain caused by the glare off Tommie Copper pitchman Montel Williams’ bald pate.

Chone Figgins for running mate? Jeb Bush is spending tons more on TV ads than any of his Republican rivals, yet he remains far behind Donald Trump, Marco Rubio and most of the rest of the GOP field.

Hmmm, spending a truckload of money for little or nothing in return: One might fairly assume that former Mariners general manager Jack Zduriencik is running the Jeb! campaign.

Channel-surfing the vast cultural wasteland: Season 13 of “Top Chef” debuts tonight with the first in a series of challenges set in California.

California’s a great choice for “Top Chef” — not just because of the wonderful food, but also because the show producers can swing by Silicon Valley to get a fembot operating system upgrade for co-host Padma Lakshmi.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff

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