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Do you smell burning turkey?

Published 11:15 pm Saturday, November 17, 2007

By Jessi Loerch, Herald Writer

Ah, Thanksgiving. The food, the family, the disasters. And no one hears about more disasters than those who work for cooking hotlines. Can you tell the real calls from the fakes? (Answers below.)

  • One woman called a turkey help hotline to ask for advice after her kitchen caught on fire.

  • A caller wanted to know how to prepare the raw turkey that the family cat had gnawed holes into.

  • One woman wanted to know what to do after huge globs of bread dough began flowing out of her oven like lava.

  • A fashion-minded foodie called to ask whether it would be OK to dye her hair with cranberry juice.

    Speaking of turkeys, kids chased a “turkey” around in Marysville for fun and the chance to win some prizes. If Americans had to catch their own Thanksgiving turkeys that way, we suspect there would be a sudden run on Tofurkys.

    Answer: All of these kitchen disasters were really called in to hotlines. (No, really. Even the bread dough volcano.) And, by the way, if your kitchen catches fire, the correct response is to call 911, not the Butterball hotline.

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