Watch out for that honker
Published 11:17 pm Thursday, December 20, 2007
The FBI is on the lookout for a big-nosed thief known as the “Beaker Bandit” — named after the hapless lab assistant on “The Muppet Show.”
The man, who has a large, triangular nose, has robbed at least seven banks in the region. He wears a hoody and might say “meep” a lot.
Police haven’t confirmed Tom Cruise’s whereabouts at the time of the robberies.
The Mariners finished their Christmas shopping Thursday. They saw pitcher Carlos Silva — who won 13 games last year and lost 14 — and just couldn’t resist spending $48 million on him.
General manager Bill Bavasi said the signing “addresses one of our main needs.” With Jeff Weaver gone, he had to find a way to pay someone an obscene amount of money.
Another big spender, the state Department of Transportation, released a report that found there’s more traffic in the Puget Sound region because there are more people. Try to contain your shock.
Upcoming DOT studies will determine whether asphalt is harder than feathers and whether it’s more fun to shred money or to burn it.
