Outfoxing the animals

Published 12:48 pm Sunday, May 4, 2008

Scientists are sending in robotic squirrels, lizards and birds to help them understand animals’ mating rituals and other behavior. Too bad they can’t use the same technique to figure out how human courtship works. It would save everyone else the trouble — and the Internet dating bills.

If you, too, are interested in animal behavior, consider visiting a game park. For $25, you can take a hike with a guide, offering you the rare chance to find out how an elephant or a rhino behaves when it’s chasing you toward the nearest tree.

Use big words and don’t betray the family. A convicted mob boss is using his letters from prison to expand his 7-year-old son’s vocabulary, filling them with the sort of haughty words normally found on standardized tests. He’ll know his efforts have paid off when his son starts sending e-mails that say, “U R so sagacious, LOL!”

Some computer virus writers are so proud of their work that it comes with a license threatening penalties for distributing their code without permission. Next thing you know, they’ll be trying to take their stock public.