Cooking 101

Published 11:21 pm Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Today Dear Abby counsels a bride-to-be who worries that her lack of skill in the kitchen won’t live up to her fiance’s high expectations. Since her fiance obviously never learned to appreciate the delicately unnatural flavor of ramen, we’d like to offer a few tips for cooking success that we’ve gleaned from today’s news:

Don’t be afraid of long lists of ingredients. That’s what Judyrae Kruse advises when looking at the recipe for a seafood chowder. We concur. Macaroni and cheese from a box has tons of ingredients, and it’s not hard to make at all.

Stick with what works. That’s what Velcro did, and the company is now celebrating 50 years in the U.S. That said, serving your husband green bean casserole every night for a week might be grounds for divorce.

Don’t drink, or things might get out of hand, the way they did for a man who dressed up as Darth Vader and attacked the founders of a “Jedi church” after drinking most of a 2.5-gallon box of wine. Just imagine how his souffle would have turned out if he’d gotten drunk and used the Force on a bowl of egg whites instead.