Fear the man in the Speedo

Published 10:12 pm Thursday, June 12, 2008

It’s Friday the 13th, and today’s Super Quiz points out that you might want to avoid lighting three cigarettes with one match. But if you’re lighting up three at a time, you’re a risk taker anyway, right? A few more things to fear today:

Skimpy swimwear: A Utah town is expected to lift a ban on bikinis and Speedos at the city pool. It’s only fair. People in every town should have to avert their eyes when Grandpa goes for a dip.

Large green men: “The Incredible Hulk” hits theaters today. Herald critic Robert Horton pans Edward Norton’s performance, saying he makes a dull David Banner.

Apparently he learned nothing from watching the film, because he seems to be trying to make Norton angry.

Owning Yahoo stock: The price plunged after investors gave up hope of a Microsoft takeover. Now, in a sad scene, Yahoo is crawling to Google, looking to make a deal.

Google responded that it would be happy to form an alliance, adding. “Mwahahahahahaha.”