Please do not fondle the fish

Published 10:39 pm Monday, January 26, 2009

They take their fish seriously in Japan. Tokyo’s biggest seafood market banned visitors for a time after a drunken British tourist — is there any other kind of British tourist? — was caught smooching a tuna.

Sounds pretty hard-core. Imagine how those Japanese fishmongers would react to those guys who toss fish around at the Pike Place Market.

Six construction firms allege that actor-director Tyler Perry, creator and star of those “Madea” movies, hasn’t paid them for work done to his Atlanta home.

If The Buzz were a tradesman — and our efforts at mudding and taping sheetrock stand as testimony to the fact that we’re not — we’d gladly forego payment if Perry would stop making those “Madea” movies.

A vulgar oath has just escaped the lips of your angelic child. What do you do?

One underage-cussing-prevention strategy is to limit the exposure — don’t cuss yourself.

But that rules out many basic everyday activities, such as:

* Driving in rush-hour traffic;

* Watching a football game;

* Opening your credit card statement.

In other words, you’re #%#%ed. Let the kid swear.