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Published 10:58 pm Thursday, April 23, 2009

Microsoft announced Thursday that its profits declined 32 percent, the first time since the company went public that quarterly revenue has fallen in comparison with the previous year.

The company first realized the recession was taking a toll when the demoralizing earnings numbers stayed the same no matter how many times they restarted Excel.

Michelle Obama says the First Puppy, Bo, is an energetic dog who recently woke the president and the first lady while playing with his ball after the rest of the family had gone to bed.

But there’s an upside to having a curious pup. If Obama doesn’t feel like reading that book Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez gave him, he can always say the dog ate it.

He’s singing a different tune now: An identity thief in Oregon who penned songs with rhyming lyrics celebrating his life of crime was sentenced Wednesday to 13 years in prison.

That means he’ll have plenty of time to solve the age-old question of what rhymes with orange while he composes the perfect song devoted to the jumpsuit he’ll be wearing.

— Katie Mayer, Herald staff