No Cracks

Published 10:34 pm Thursday, June 18, 2009

City Hall employees in Brooksville, Fla., must wear underwear on the job, the city council has decreed.

To enforce the new rule, officials will require every employee to begin their work day by reporting to an inspection station, where they will bend over and pretend to repair a kitchen sink drain.

Let’s go shopping: Millions of Americans have been out of work so long that their unemployment benefits have expired. So let us console ourselves with a piece of cheerful economic news: Now’s a great time to find fantastic deals on luxury merchandise.

To lure shoppers, retailers will point out that if you lose your job, you can still stuff a lot of commodity cheese and powdered milk into a Valentino pintucked tote bag.

Moon shot: Nearly 40 years after Apollo 11 landed on the Moon, NASA has launched a spacecraft that will find the best place to build a colony on the lunar surface.

Mission commanders say they’re looking for a site that has territorial views, plenty of sunshine and room for a backyard vegetable garden.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff