Our world is upside down
Published 5:37 pm Thursday, July 30, 2009
Snow storms in the winter. A hot spell in the summer. For the love of KIRO Chief Meteorologist Rebecca Stevenson, what is going on? What’s next? Beautiful foliage in the fall?
When Seattle is hotter than Walla Walla in July, the whole weather world as we know it has been turned upside down.
Sultan shouldn’t out-swelter Spokane … unless it moved to the Middle East while the county wasn’t looking.
Moses Lake is supposed to always be more miserable than Mountlake Terrace.
When Kettle Falls is cooler than Edmonds, something is out of kilter.
Meanwhile, the Northeast is experiencing record rain. Well, our weather had to go somewhere. If an earthquake rumbles Florida and California is smacked by a hurricane, perhaps a pattern can be established. (It’s understood that an earthquake is technically not “weather,” but work with the conspiracy here.)
The sun, of course, can be dangerous. It can burn, and even without full heat stroke, can cause delirium. Or something delirium-like. Suddenly Slurpees sound good. Stretching out on the shaded sidewalk like a cat seems like a reasonable option. Of course that tank top is appropriate for work. But that guy’s lawn mowing outfit could use some work. Like a shirt. Thoughts race the gamut — from boy, it’s hot — to man, it’s hot. Didn’t President Obama invite us over for a beer? The White House bowling alley must be air conditioned.
As long as our region is doing its Tri-Cities impersonation, can someone invent a solar panel that could save some of this Northwest bounty of warmth and vitamin D for January and February?
Can Everett build a giant water slide from Grand Avenue down to the waterfront? It would increase access and be fun. In the winter skateboarders and snowboarders can have it.
Were we having a heat-induced hallucination, or are some of those wacky, rebellious teens who wear shorts and no coat in the winter now wearing flannel pajamas?
Now that it’s known that tanning beds are as cancerous as cigarettes or arsenic, doesn’t it seem fitting that those things are the same shape and claustrophobic-size of a coffin?
What do bikini baristas wear when they change out of their work clothes?
Remember the frying egg, this-is-your-brain-on-drugs commercial? Well, we had a point about that, but it’s scrambled now. The SPF 75 apparently doesn’t protect the cranium.
