Reflecting on deep reports
Published 1:10 pm Saturday, September 19, 2009
Let’s Monday-morning-quarterback some headlines:
n “Cameras keep track of all cars entering Medina.” But not for any bad reason. Just to make sure your car is good enough to be in the tony little town on Lake Washington. Your AMC Gremlin will be noticed, and put on an ‘“ugly” list. Actually, your plate will be run through a database, and if it comes up as stolen, or suspected in the use of a crime, Medina police will immediately be notified, the Seattle Times reported.
Medina council member Lucius Biglow told the newspaper that crime prevention “outweighs concern over privacy.”
“Privacy is considerably less nowadays than it was, say, 50 years ago,” he said. “I think most of us are pretty well-documented by the federal government … simply because of the Internet and credit cards.”
Maybe that Constitutional slippery-slope logic can be added in fine print under the city’s new welcoming sign, “You Are Entering a 24 Hour Video Surveillance Area.”
n “Man accused of hurling thousands of golf balls into park.” A California man is charged with throwing 3,000 golf balls into Joshua Tree National Park throughout 2007. “Apparently, there’s some tennis balls involved, as well,” a park spokesman told the Palm Springs Desert Sun.
Earlier this year, the Port of Everett was plagued with eerily similar ball dropping and used Homeland Security video surveillance cameras in an attempt to catch the culprits, until neighbors protested. Could this be the work of a serial golf ball dropper?
Well, not unless the port also found cans of fruit and vegetables scattered about. Douglas Jones, 57, told park rangers he left the cans for stranded hikers. (But no can openers, that would be littering.)
Jones said he threw the balls because he wanted to “leave his mark,” and to honor deceased golfers. Perhaps a judge can persuade Jones to join the organization Leave No Trace, where he can run the “Leave no marks in national parks” campaign.
n “Dannon settles lawsuit, to pay yogurt buyers $35M.” This is about those Jamie Lee Curtis commercials where she talks about, oh, never mind. This topic has exceeded its “best by” date, if there ever was one. Suffice it to say that our lawsuit-happy culture, and TV commercials, can cause indigestion.
n “British Catholics urge prayer before sex.” The proposed wording, however, is quite lengthy. Auxiliary Bishop Paul Hendricks of Southwark allowed that the idea “is a bit idealistic.” Perhaps more realistic is something along the lines of the hurried but grateful grace said by hungry diners: “Thankyouforthisfoodamen.” Or, more economical, as the songwriter Leonard Cohen likes to beseech, “Please.”
