Ed-Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaar
Published 11:59 pm Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wait ‘til next year: In his first year of eligibility for the Hall of Fame, former Seattle Mariner Edgar Martinez fell short of the required number of votes from baseball writers. But Herald columnist Kirby Arnold says his chances in coming years are good.
Unfortunately, Sen. Joe Lieberman, I-Deputy Dawg, has threatened to filibuster upcoming votes unless Martinez makes him one of his famous “light bat” lamps.
I am so getting audited: As you prepare your federal income taxes this year, don’t expect much help from the IRS. The agency admits that three out of 10 people who call its toll-free help line likely won’t get through to a human being.
Instead, expect helpful voice-mail prompts, such as the following: “If you plan to cheat on your taxes this year: Press 1 if you are a tax cheat filing separately. Press 2 if you are a tax cheat filling jointly. Press 3 if you’re lying about having a spouse and other dependents in the first place.”
It’s what they call “synergy”: Kentucky Fried Chicken is paying $7,500 each to two Indiana cities to paint fire hydrants with the KFC logo to promote its new “fiery” chicken wings.
After hearing of the marketing coup, Dunkin’ Donuts immediately began negotiations with the cities’ police departments about the paint jobs on patrol cars.
