Say it ain’t so

Published 10:49 pm Monday, January 11, 2010

Retired baseball star Mark McGwire admitted Monday that he used steroids during his playing career, including the 1998 season when he hit a then-record 70 home runs.

We hear that Barry Bonds was poised to release a similar statement, but held off when experts warned him that America’s nerves could not withstand two massive jolts of shock and surprise on the same day.

Speaking of surprise disclosures: In an ad campaign for its new line of pizzas, Domino’s acknowledges that a lot of people didn’t think much of its former product.

It’s a bold admission, but the fine print notes that recreational marijuana users thought Domino’s was just fine.

You’ve come a long way, baby: On this day in 1910, the wife of the Russian ambassador caused a stir by lighting a cigarette at a White House dinner hosted by President William Howard Taft.

Several men present were so startled by the sight of a woman smoking that they accidentally kicked over their spittoons.