Big biz gets fatter, happier
Published 1:53 pm Saturday, May 1, 2010
Opinions “R” Us:
KFC, the fried chicken franchise, is advertising two big promotions:
1.) The “arrival” of the KFC Double Down sandwich, in which two chicken filets (grilled or Original Recipe) serve as the bun to hold the inner fixings: Two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel’s Sauce.
2.) The launch of “Buckets for a Cure,” where for every Pink Bucket of chicken sold, KFC will donate 50 cents to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. The company is trying to make the largest single donation to Komen — a goal of $8.5 million.
Pink buckets? Granted, it’s hard to escape the pink that appears on products these days (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but Colonel Sanders has a golden opportunity here to make the promotion fit the crime, er, cause.
What is the No. 1 killer of men and women in the United States? Cardiovascular disease. What contributes to heart disease? Factors include obesity, high cholesterol and high blood pressure. The KFC Double Down sandwich could be the poster child for heart disease. (Take a gamble! Double your risk!)
What color are KFC’s buckets? Exactly. Red. So they are already outfitted in the very color befitting a 50 cent donation to American Heart Association for every bucket sold, forever. “Buckets for a Bypass.”
In other business news, E.W. Scripps Co. is selling United Media Licensing for $175 million to Iconix Brand Group Inc.
Or, in other words, “Peanuts gang sold to owner of Joe Boxer for $175 million.”
(Convoluted corporate names and subsidiaries are the price of doing business. For example, “Activity on the corporate mergers and acquisition front bolstered sentiment, with Mirant Corp. agreeing to acquire rival power firm RRI Energy Inc. for $1.61 billion and military contractor DynCorp International getting taken out by private-equity firm Cerberus Capital Management.” Whatever. Even business neophytes know that a “Cerberus” would eat a “DynCorp” for lunch.)
The “Peanuts brand” as it’s known, and other acquired assets (which includes Dilbert — is he the grown-up Charlie Brown?) will be owned 80 percent by Iconix and 20 percent by the Schulz family. Both parties are happy.
“Peanuts” has more than 1,250 licenses in 40 countries, with about 20,000 new products approved each year. Retail sales generate more than $2 billion annually. Iconix expects the deal to generate about $75 million annually in royalty revenue.
Well, that would buy a few kites.
*Sigh* Just as it inspires some good ol’ Charlie Brown existential dread.
Where’s Linus when you need him?
