Flying the larval-stage skies
Published 5:01 pm Friday, July 2, 2010
Sometimes a troubling news story can help put everything in perspective.
For example, “Maggots fall from overhead bin onto passengers flying U.S. Airways; bugs came onboard in spoiled meat.”
It’s disturbing to think that as the Federal Aviation Administration grapples with the decision of whether to ban peanuts as a snack on all flights, there isn’t a prohibition against bringing spoiled meat (or freshly butchered, for that matter) onboard (or in checked luggage).
On one hand, considering all the annoyances one can encounter during air travel — wailing babies, drunken passengers, turbulence, etc. — one can now comfort oneself and fellow travelers by observing, “Well, at least oozing maggots from spoiled meat didn’t fall on me in-flight. That’s a bonus.”
On the other hand, it’s disconcerting to think that with all the various and sundry airport security measures in place, a suitcase of rotting meat and maggots wasn’t noticed and stopped, even if such an item isn’t expressly outlawed, the way, say, those dangerous non-crawly plastic bottles filled with water are.
It’s also hard to believe that in a country where it’s often illegal to transfer fruit across state lines, whether by plane or car, it’s OK to lug a carry-on of meat. Apple maggots cannot be tolerated, but meat maggots, they’re OK?
Airlines other than U.S. Airways probably quietly welcomed the story, which almost sounds like an urban legend, but a woman caught it on her cell phone, so you know it’s true. Sitting in a plane stuck on the tarmac for four hours doesn’t sound so bad compared to an in-flight maggot shower.
“Oh, sure. I missed my connection, lost my luggage and was further delayed by a snowstorm in July. But it was a maggot-free trip!”
News reports said that after the maggoty freefall, the pilot announced to passengers that they were returning to the gate because of a “minor emergency on board” and the flight attendants told everyone to sit down and be calm.
That’s right. Use your own air sickness bag first before attending to your children. Remain calm while we sit as far away from the wriggly mess as possible.
It’s not the kind of save where the passengers break into spontaneous applause, like safely landing on a river or in a field. “Pilot safely returns plane to gate after maggot mishap” isn’t going to earn you an adoring Facebook page. But now we know how to categorize fly larvae falling from overhead bins: A minor emergency.
And how to update that outdated airline book: “Coffee, Tea or Meat?”
