Our in-flight movie is “Con Air”: Colton Harris-Moore, who has switched nicknames from “Barefoot Bandit” to “The Defendant in Unlaced Tennis Shoes,” quickly pleaded guilty Tuesday to illegally entering the Bahamas and was extradited to the United States after a cross-country string of crimes that included the alleged theft of at least one airplane.

Harris-Moore was flown to Florida on a secure aircraft, escorted by U.S. marshals. His request to visit the cockpit was politely denied.

You can take your earplugs out now: Tween heartthrob and Breck Girl shampoo model Justin Bieber performed before the largest crowd ever at Comcast Arena on Tuesday night.

Screaming from thousands of girls threatened to bring down the arena’s masts, but tragedy was averted when a passing group of soccer fans with vuvuzelas canceled out the destructive sound waves.