Fly the wild Western skies
Published 8:49 am Tuesday, September 21, 2010
While Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci epitomize human ingenuity and genius, some contemporary Italian inventors have engineered a new airline seat whose back-to-the-future design is causing a stir in artisic, religious and scientifc circles.
OK, not really. It’s just some muttering from the airline world, which continues to struggle with form and function as it loses money like it was luggage.
To help airlines operate more efficiently, the Italian-based company Aviointeriors has created the “SkyRider seat,” which resembles a saddle and would allow airlines to squeeze in 40 percent more passengers per flight, the Los Angeles Times reported. The seat was on display at a recent industry expo, where it was met with skepticism, the paper reported. Indeed. It’s hard to imagine the specter of mile-high saddle sores generating much yee-hah enthusiam.
On the other hand, once an airline sees the savings potential of a posse in the sky, flying happily on their SkyRider seats, the marketing possibilities are endless.
For example, what discount airline will be the first to offer the Bonanza Family Travel Package promotion based on the TV Western that ran from 1959 to 1973?
“Whether traveling to the Ponderosa or Pittsburgh, Cartwright Airlines offers you the richest in-flight Western riding experience available. Round up friends and family and pardner with us for a flight like no other. Let’s lasso a pilot and giddyup and go.”
Passengers will gather in a “corral” area, be “branded” with a seating assignment, and finally rustled up and led onboard.
Realizing that the space-saving saddles won’t work as one-size-fits-all, Cartwright Airlines will offer different saddle choices:
•The Little Joe: For average to shorter-sized people.
The Pinto: (Little Joe’s horse) For kids.
The Hoss: For the bigger-bottomed traveler.
The Ben Cartwright: For a fee, this saddle has a little extra padding for the distinguished traveler, as well as its own saddlehorn, where a patriarch or matriarch can rest his/her hands solemnly after making a speech, or pound his/her fist for emphasis, or just hold on during some turbulence.
The Mini-Ponderosa and The Little Lance: Prototypes for bike-sized saddle seats, which never made it into production, even when renamed “SitStrong.” Until the next recession, anyway.
Other special touches:
A long-lost Cartwright cousin who struggles with self-esteem and envy issues will be the first to refer to the restroom as “the Adam,” which will unfairly catch on with non-air travelers as well.
Popular comedian-chef-rapper Hip-Hop Sing will provide onboard entertainment.
Despite the Western adventure, spurs, crops and whips are among banned carry-on items. They won’t make that pony take off any faster, anyway.
