Being gay still not so trendy
Published 4:40 pm Tuesday, October 5, 2010
On TV, homosexuality is all “Glee,” “Modern Family” and beautiful women kissing.
While gay rights groups celebrate the infusion of such fictional characters, they know that (like all TV) it doesn’t resemble real life. More important, and instructional, is the presence of Ellen DeGeneres, the openly gay talk show host, who became openly gay in real life by coming out as a fictional character on her sitcom called “Ellen.”
“Cyber bullying” is the focus of Tyler Clementi’s suicide, but it’s really “cyber gay bashing,” even if the perpetrators don’t believe themselves homophobic. And while the mode of delivery is new, the often devastating effects of picking on those different from ourselves is older than sin.
Clementi is the 18-year-old Rutgers University freshman who killed himself after his private encounter with another man was secretly taped and streamed online by his roommate, Dharun Ravi, and fellow freshman Molly Wei.
Ravi and Wei are charged with invasion of privacy and could face five years in prison if convicted. (In his voyeurism, Ravi, who tweeted that his roommate was “making out with a dude” sounds more immature and pruriently curious than full of hate. Regardless, we all know what will happen if he is sent to prison, where sexual violence is the norm.)
Some young people have expressed surprise at Clementi’s suicide, saying what’s the big deal, the whole social networking deal is about posting photos of yourself and your predilections. And this is where all those TV characters may give heterosexuals the idea that as a society we have come so far in accepting homosexuals that it’s easy and trendy to be gay today. It’s not.
On Sept. 29, a 13-year-old Houston boy who was the target of bullies, the old-fashioned kind that trip kids down the stairs and taunt in person, shot himself. The boy told his dad that morning that he was gay. Being bullied into outing yourself — especially at age 13 — is something the majority of people don’t have to worry about.
Ellen DeGeneres and other celebrities are contributing to commentator Dan Savage’s YouTube channel called “It Gets Better Project,” which allows gay adults to upload videos of themselves describing the bullying they endured in high school, but also talking about how much better their lives are now.
Tyler’s parents, Joe and Jane Clementi, said that they hope the suicide of their son will “serve as a call for compassion, empathy and human dignity.”
Would that their own grace and compassion could somehow ease their grief, and help us help other young sensitive souls when they think life isn’t worth living.
