Cue the “Dragnet” theme: Dumb-de-dumb, dumb-de-dumb-de-dumb

Published 12:01 am Thursday, January 13, 2011

That’s why they call it dope: Monroe police searching a suspected drug house notched two bonus arrests when two men approached the front door, apparently having missed the marked patrol cars out front, and asked to buy heroin.

Both men told police they thought the drug house was offering a blue-light special.

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Surveyor’s sights focused on the issue: Sarah Palin, R-Flintlock, released an eight-minute video on her Facebook page refudiating those critical of violent political rhetoric following the assassination attempt Saturday of a Arizona congresswoman and massacre of six people at a Tucson supermarket.

So if you’re keeping score: Violent political rhetoric does not incite violence, but rap lyrics and video games do.

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Well, she’s no Dramatic Chipmunk: Heidi, a cross-eyed opossum at the city zoo in Leipzig, Germany, has become an Internet sensation, having gathered more than 111,000 fans on Facebook, many of whom find the ratlike marsupial to be “so cute” and “so sweet.”

We’re left unconvinced as to the adorable nature of opossums but admit our exposure to Heidi’s American cousins has been limited to roadside encounters.