Grumpy days here again
Published 12:01 am Monday, April 25, 2011
Apparently the whole darn nation is in a snit, so let’s go directly to the grumpy headlines:
•”Nation’s mood at lowest level in two years, poll shows“: Americans are more pessimistic about the nation’s economic outlook and overall direction than since President Obama’s first two months in office, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll.
Did they have polls like this during the Depression? Is part of our problem today that we take our temperature every two minutes? The New York Times refers to the “dour public mood.” How fast “The Audacity of Hope” morphed into “Prozac Nation.” Could we just have summer first?
•”Gut bacteria divide people into 3 types, scientists say“: Researchers are debating what to name the categories:
1. Friendly, mean and passive-aggressive.
2. Happy, sleepy and bashful.
3. Marcia, Jan and Cindy.
4. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
5. Larry, Moe and Curly.
So, a doctor might tell a patient, “You have type AB blood, mean gut bacteria, but super mellow cholesterol.”
•”Yes, that’s snow in parts of Snohomish County“: But just in the frosty, freezy, and Slurpee micro-climate areas.
“Craig Ehlo joins EWU coaching staff“: Eastern’s new basketball coach, Jim Hayford, hired Ehlo, the former NBA and WSU player, as an assistant coach. Wishing him all the luck in the world are the people who have listened to him announce Gonzaga basketball games on TV.
“Swiss flock to watch giant stinking flower bloom“: Good times. The 17-year-old, 6.6-foot-tall amorphophallus titanum, or corpse flower, is in bloom for the first time at the Basel Botanical Gardens. The last one to bloom in Switzerland was 75 years ago.
The flower, native to Sumatra, is commonly called a “corpse flower” because of the strong stench of rotting flesh it emits when in bloom (the better to attract insects.) Its scientific name, however, makes reference to another striking feature of the flower. Apparently too striking, as people decided it was more polite to refer to its putrid smell.
• “Kohler Numi ‘smart toilet’: A royal flush“: The customizable commode comes with an adjustable (heated) seat and footwarmer, water temperature and pressure, ambient lighting and music system with rear speakers, an FM radio, and audio input jack for an MP3 player. It has a self-cleaning bidet wand with a dryer, among other amenities, all for a piddly $6,300.
Whether this sounds like a lovely wedding gift for Prince William, or a fine starter studio apartment, depends on your economic mood and type of gut bacteria. (Dour and curly, for example.)
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