Sorry, but we’re still here

Published 12:01 am Monday, May 23, 2011

One last bit about the end of the world; we promise: You may have already noticed, but Saturday’s Rapture of souls and the beginning of the end predicted by an Oakland, Calif., minister did not occur.

St. Peter, later sent out a tweet on behalf of the Almighty, confirming that the Rapture actually was planned but canceled when God couldn’t find anyone worthy of life everlasting.

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Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh? Why did I ever leave Ohio? Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich, D-U-Haul, who met with Democrats in Shoreline on Sunday to flip pancakes, has been making visits to Washington and other states gaining seats in Congress, perhaps looking for somewhere to land when his district in Ohio is eliminated.

Kucinich wasn’t explicit about whether he’d run for office here, but he was seen later at REI getting fitted for a three-piece Gore-Tex suit and practicing his pronunciation of Puyallup, Stillaguamish and Mukilteo.

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Say again: Iceland’s latest erupting volcano, Grimsvotn on the Vatnajokull glacier, isn’t causing as much havoc with air traffic but reportedly is spewing even more ash and steam than did Eyjafjallajokull, when it erupted last year.

Kucinich immediately canceled his travel plans to Iceland when he learned it doesn’t have a congressional seat and he realized there was no way he’d ever learn to pronounce Eyjafjallajokull.

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