Super donors warming up
Published 12:01 am Monday, August 8, 2011
Let’s take a leisurely stroll through the headlines:
•”A dozen donors account for bulk of ‘super PAC’ money“: In gearing up for the long-way-off presidential election, seve
n major groups took in $23.7 million during the first half of the year, USA Today reported, with a combined $12.1 million coming from just 12 people and companies.
Perhaps if some of them could be persuaded to invest some of those millions and millions into the actual economy, and not just the election, we might actually get somewhere, economically.
•”House OKs debt deal; Giffords brings down the House“: We can dream that Rep. Gabrielle Giffords’ first appearance in Congress since being shot, which took extreme emotional and physical strength on her part, shamed the uncompromising, whining ninnies who dragged the process out for so long, but managed to get it done in time for August vacation.
“Cheesecake Factory ‘SkinnyLicious’ menu cuts calories“: The chain that offers a 2,730-calorie Bistro Shrimp Pasta plate will now have a separate menu offering salads and fish and such. The cheesecake remains “FattyLicious.”
“FDA says ‘sleepy brownies’ are unsafe“: Ditto for “Antsy Cookies.”
“FBI says it has a ‘credible’ lead in the D.B. Cooper case“: It’s difficult to not feel nostalgia for a home-grown hijacker who didn’t hurt anybody and left us with a great mystery.
“Heat-sensing nose helps the vampire bat find its meals”: It apparently has nothing to do with pre-teen angst and romance.
Researchers found that bats are more closely related to dogs, horses and moles than to rats and mice. Which is to say the nose knows. So if a bat winds up in your hair, it might have been thrown off by your “Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific” shampoo, or your “Greasy Spoon” hair gel.
•”Kraft Foods, in split, is keeping Oreos but not Velveeta“: Giving parents everywhere confidence that their children have the innate know-how to grow up and make big-time business decisions.
“Road trip: Chinese rev up the RVs“: Oh, good. Chinese Albert Brooks fans can look forward to a fake, copycat remake of the comedy “Lost in America” called “Lost in China,” coming to a fake store near you soon.
“Social networks can’t replace socializing“: But how do we indicate we “like” this sentiment?
“Fertility breakthrough shown in mice”: Who knew the notoriously populous rodents were having trouble reproducing?
“Woman sets Appalachian Trail fastest-hike record“: A title former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford was more than happy to relinquish.
“TV porn doesn’t sell like it used to“: Why buy the cable when you can get the web for free?
