Cheese, with side of cheese
Published 12:01 am Monday, September 26, 2011
While Denny’s new “Mac ‘n’ Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt” looks like it has mayonnaise-based macaroni salad topping the beef patty, it’s really mac ‘n’ cheese made with white cheese, with melted cheddar on top of that.
Thanks to the handy calorie list, we can see the Mac Daddy Patty Melt weighs in at mere a 1,690 calories, 99 of them from fat, and a thirst-defying, blood-pressure spiking 2,010 grams of sodium.
Do people have to show they have health insurance to order such items? Let’s chew on the headlines:
•”Cultivate a ladylike style for fall with a few classic, elegant pieces“: This contains helpful advice, such as “A lady always carries a chic hat and a pair of feminine gloves to maintain her look, regardless of the weather.” Oh, does she?
And: “A lady always has flawlessly manicured nails in a demure shade.” Of course she does. But if she doesn’t, maybe she could don those feminine gloves, regardless of the weather.
•”Hallmark adds sympathy cards for job loss“: It’s just a guess, but some people might find a sympathy job loss card less helpful than the $3 it cost.
•”Stiff penalties for stiff drinks: Utah tightens liquor laws“: Wow. Tough laws made more confusing. For example: “As of next year, even new restaurants licensed to serve nothing stronger than beer — weak 3.2 percent alcohol beer at that — must keep taps and bartenders out of customers’ sight and have beer sales account for no more than 30 percent of revenue,” USA Today reported.
You can sell some watery beer, but by golly, don’t make too much money off it. That would be wrong. Kind of like letting a prevailing religion dictate state business practices.
•”Holiday season may not be jolly for retailers“: Ah, we’ve been waiting for this reassuring, annual declaration about how bad things are going be. Last year, however, it turned out people shopped more than predicted. What to buy for the economic predictor in your household? A glass half full?
•”Baylor Religion Survey reveals many see God steering economy“: Unlike the human predictors, however, God won’t let on what he has planned for the “holiday season.”
•”Bachmann says food industry overregulated“: Excuse us as we choke on our toxic catfish imported from China.
As just one example, can someone please send Bachmann footage from Wright County Egg, the company responsible for the salmonella outbreak that sickened 1,500 people and led to the recall of 550 million eggs a year ago?
All the cheese sauce in the world can’t cover up the fact that our food industry is underregulated.
Bon appetit!
