Dr Pepper diets like a man
Published 12:01 am Monday, October 17, 2011
Apparently Sunday was “Boss’s Day.” Wouldn’t that make today the “official” holiday? And shouldn’t we all have the day off to show our respect for those in charge? That’s our “out of the boss, er, box” thinking. Let’s be bossy with the headlines:
•”Dr Pepper Ten ‘not for women‘”: The soft drink company is trying a “macho” ad campaign for a new diet drink aimed at men. Unlike Diet Dr Pepper, this version has some sugar and 10 “bold” calories and comes in a gray can. Very manly indeed.
But as far as the most hard-core diet drink, we put our money on one of the orginals — Tab by Coca-Cola — in terms of which one would eat through an iron nail first.
•”North Korea to finally open ‘world’s worst’ hotel“: Finally! Construction on the hotel began 24 years ago and was universally hailed as the worst affront to architecture in the history of humankind. The article notes, “Back in 1987, North Korea had hoped to make it the world’s tallest hotel, despite the fact that the country has few visitors.” Details, details. Just beware of cultural differences when visiting: Don’t even think of taking home your room’s complimentary sliver of soap in a sock. That’s for the next guest.
•”Runner disqualified for taking bus during marathon“: Officials will now test runners for performance-enhancing vehicles.
•”Couple with baby get lost in corn maze at nightfall“: After about an hour in the maze, darkness fell and the Massachusets couple toting their 3-week-old baby could not find their way out. Frantic, they called 911. At one point, the woman noted that “This is embarrassing.” And the K-9 unit hadn’t even rescued them yet.
Piling on, the marketing director for the company the Maize said she’d never heard of someone needing to be rescued by the police from a corn maze before. (The scary maze in the movie “The Shining” was a hedge maze, not a friendly corn one.)
But not everyone was mocking. The Directionally Challenged Community, as well as the Exhausted New Parents Community, blushed in embarrassed empathy.
•”Mark Rypien watches daughter’s Lingerie Football debut“: Call us old-fashioned, (and for those without computer access, you’ll just have to trust us) but no father should ever see his daughter in a Seattle Mist “uniform.”
•”Why you may soon need two smartphones“: To bolster the economy? So you can call one to locate the lost one? So you can hold one to each ear to demonstrate your hard-core, diet-soda-fueled multitasking?
•”Study: Piranhas bark with their bladders”: As does any human who really, really has to go.
