Can’t make kids be straight or gay

Published 4:35 pm Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I’m compelled to respond the Sept. 6 letter, “Bad repercussions will be only result,” which spoke against same-sex marriage. The writer expressed concern for the “mental health and future of the children of gay couples.” He also stated, “I don’t believe most are born that way.” Furthermore, he asked, “Do same sex couples raise their children straight or gay?” Being the father of a gay daughter who loves children and wishes she could raise her own child, I respond.

First, we did not “raise our daughter gay.” She was born that way! Just because the writer “doesn’t believe” that most are born that way doesn’t mean that they aren’t. Secondly, a gay couple cannot make their child straight or gay, any more than us straight couples can “make” them straight. Their children will be raised with much love and with sincere training to become good, productive members of our society, as we straight parents have tried to do. The mental health and future of such children will also be greatly influenced by how the public treats them. If the public treats them as weird or freakish or unacceptable, they will suffer, just as children of straight couples would suffer.

An example of a suffering child brought up in any home is one who is born gay but who is forced to act straight. There is a person whose mental health is being influenced improperly. A parent needs to let go of his desire to influence his child’s future choice of a partner. We parents owe our children love, acceptance, and freedom to be who they are. We may not agree to live their way of life, but we can agree to love them unconditionally.

Dave Ryynanen

Edmonds