Burke: When leaves fall reality takes a break in Leavenworth
Published 1:30 am Monday, October 2, 2017
By Tom Burke
Let’s all agree Leavenworth isn’t really Bavaria, the Schwarzwald, Munchen or the Harz Mountains.
No, Leavenworth is really an affirmative exercise in the suspension of disbelief — what you do watching a good movie or reading great science-fiction: suspend critical faculties, believe the unbelievable and willingly sacrifice realism and logic for the sake of enjoyment.
In Leavenworth that’s easy to do.
Recently we went east for their Autumn Leaf Festival’s Grand Parade, and to cheer on my son’s mother-in-law marching with Coeur d’Alene’s Blazen Divaz troupe.
Our weekend lodging, Pension Anna (pronounced Penn-see-own Anna), was centrally-located, authentically comfortable (I checked…no “Made in China” labels), and our hosts, Gary and Michele, were perfectly attired in lederhosen and dirndl.
The rooms were luxe and breakfast wasn’t toasted-up Eggos, but a hearty selection of German wurst, cheese, dense pumpernickel, pastry, eggs and muesli. (Business note No. 1: A study of Leavenworth tipping showed “costumed” wait staff garnered 20 percent higher tips than those dressed in mufti.)
The parade was a hoot — an old-fashioned, small-town extravaganza with marching bands, all-girl drill teams, teen “queens,” fire trucks and three forlorn Seafair Pirates … one driving and two in a towed, cavernously-empty cabin-cruiser. It was the only sad-looking thing in the parade.
(Full disclosure: We claimed near-curbside outdoor seating at the Icicle Brewing Co.’s saloon at Front and 10th. As the day wore on and beer went down, the parade got better and better.)
After shopping along the main drag we watched an amazing troupe of Wenatchee school students imitate Barnum & Bailey’s best acrobats with a demanding show that kept the crowd enthralled. These kids were talented, hard-working, and disciplined. Kudos to them and their coaches.
Next it was dinner and back to Pension Anna.
Sunday started with a pilgrimage to Cashmere stocking up on Eastern Washington’s version of Atlantic City salt-water taffy: Aplets & Cotlets. Then over to Chelan. It’s high desert with lots of insipid, cookie-cutter condos, motels, and, oh yeah, a lake.
Only the apples made that trip worthwhile.
There were apples everywhere: orchards, fruit stands, Boeing-sized buildings for warehousing fruit, more orchards and stacks and mounds and piles and truckloads of empty crates, each holding 600 to 800 pounds of apples, waiting to be filled. (Business note No. 2: Apples are Washington’s No. 1 agricultural product, a $2.5 billion industry. Business note No. 3: Want a job? They need help, with lots of signs, many in Spanish, saying, “We need pickers.”)
On Monday we looked again behind the curtain as the town prepped for Octoberfest, the closest-to-the-real-thing-blow-out east of the Rhine, as miles of fencing were strung, tents a-plenty erected, and everyone took a deep breath, envisioning the next three weeks, like those Olympic skiers mentally running the gates of their Grand Slalom downhill before the starter gun.
Leavenworth works hard maintaining its Bavarian identity. Strict building codes and perseverance keeps everything “Alpine” (even the Golden Arches had to conform). Waitstaff and store clerks need to be kitted out (a proper drindl can cost up to $500). And it takes money and smarts to successfully market the town. (Business note No. 4: Most advertising focuses on mid-week travelers, weekends sell themselves.)
The 1960s town fathers transformed a failed railroad hub into a world-class tourist attraction. Today’s town fathers and mothers are building on that, plus targeting outdoors-loving millennials with camping, tubing, kayaking, mountain biking, rock climbing and skiing.
The yearly calendar of “Bavarian” celebrations is a winner, from Octoberfest to Kinderfest, an Ale-Fest, Bike & Brewfest, Maifest, Bird Fest, the Christmas Fest; and my all-time favorite fest: the June Leavenworth International Accordion Celebration. Brilliant! Picture a huge herd of accordionists marching down Front Street, playing “Ein Prosit der Gemütlichkeit.”
And Leavenworth’s location helps: Seattle’s close; so are Spokane and the Tri-Cities. And the newest marketing target, Portland, is 280 miles distant. (Business note No. 5: Gotta love Portlanders — driving four hours each way ensures they’ll stay at least two nights. Ka-ching!)
Currently, the business outlook is peachy, evidenced by three hotels abuilding (one a top-end $600-plus-a-night destination); fine dining on the rise (not that sauerbraten and bratwurst aren’t good eats); and 30 tasting rooms going gangbusters.
A while ago I wrote Neah Bay was a real city filled with real people.
So’s Leavenworth. But Leavenworth’s reality is layered with illusion and visitors willing to suspend disbelief ‘cause occasionally they need to. Life is more than the 24-hour news cycle, traffic, taxes, Trump, or coping with bum plumbing.
Eighteen million people visited Disneyland last year. They went for the fun of it. They go to Leavenworth for the same reason — for the fun of it.
Now in my view, the only thing the Magic Kingdom has that Leavenworth’s missing is “It’s a Small World.” I wonder if Snohomish’s Sauerkraut Band can make it a polka?
Tom Burke’s email address is t.burke.column@gmail.com.
