Petri: More ideas for government workers during shutdown

Published 1:30 am Saturday, January 12, 2019

By Alexandra Petri

The Washington Post

“Have a garage sale. Turn your hobby into income. Become a mystery shopper. Tutor students, give music or sports lessons. Bankruptcy is a last option.”

— Actual suggestions from a tip sheet for making ends meet during the furlough for Coast Guard employees, since removed.

– Sell a piece or two of heirloom silver.

– KonMari your least cherished mink coat.

– Rent out your opera box.

– Let your footman go (temporarily, of course).

– Take in a lodger in the ballroom.

– Hire out your French chef.

– Arrange a profitable marriage for your eldest daughter, and, if necessary, your second daughter as well.

– Become a governess.

– Dig up your intricate boxwood maze and plant vegetables.

– Fill in one of your trout ponds.

– Convert the second garage into a school for wayward girls

– Eat (less) cake.

– Spend winters at your summer home. In general, wintering where you summer or summering where you winter can be an enormous savings.

– Sell off a pair of coach horses.

– Give it all up and become a pop icon.

– Do you act? Consider converting this into a profitable career as a movie star.

– Do you write? Publishing a best-selling novel can be a great source of revenue.

– Monetize your online content.

– Chop down one or two trees in your cherry orchard.

– Sell your hair (this, like bankruptcy, is a last resort, best saved for when you are trying to give a thoughtful gift).

– Ask Daddy for a loan.

Alexandra Petri is a Washington Post columnist. Follow her on Twitter @petridishes.